Movies 6; located in Salisbury, Maryland, was my favorite theater to see a movie back when I was a kid.  This was long before the day of the multiplex.  This was when theaters had style, personality, and an awe-inspiring sense of wonder and magic.  It closed down back in 2000 and the building has remained vacant.  Until now.  The building that once housed hundreds of memories from my youth was completely demolished last week and it’s sad to know that yet another beautiful movie palace from my childhood is gone. 

Some old hippie once said, “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot”.  That pretty much sums it up.  I guess hippies aren’t so bad after all.

You know, a lot of people in our area referred to the theater as “The Boulevard Theater”, but I always called it Movies 6 because that’s what the giant sign out front said.  What made Movies 6 standout from other local theaters like Sun & Surf, White Marlin (also torn down and replaced by a Michael’s), and the Salisbury Mall theater (also completely leveled to the ground) was the fact that each of the six screens had a different personality.  The “Main” Theater had a curtain and was very elegant and spacious.  The “Upstairs” Theater had a screen that was level to the floor and the audience was perched high above it so that they had to look down at the screen.  The “Side” Theater had reclining leather seats and a huge aisle way so you could really stretch out if you were on the end.  The other three theaters were “Shoebox” Theaters that were a lot smaller than the other three but each had slight differences in size and shape.

I could sit here and type all day about how truly wonderful and special Movies 6 was but instead of doing that I’m just going to make a list for you.  This list says everything.  Is it as historically significant as the one that Schindler wrote?  No, not really.  What Mitch’s List DOES tell you is the sheer amount of movies he saw at good old Movies 6.  Just read these here titles.  These are some of the greatest movies ever made (many not so great, but who really cares).  These are movies that I was seeing for the first time.  These are movies that changed my life (many of them didn’t, but again, who cares).  These are movies that I take for granted today.  Many of these movies shaped my movie-viewing habits for years to come.  Even the bad movies I saw there are somewhat special to me just for the fact that I saw them at Movies 6.

Here now folks is the most complete list I can make of all the films I saw at Movies 6.  (To give you a frame of reference, I was born on 8/3/78.)  I’ve also added which screen I saw the film on to give you the best sense of the viewing experience and whether or not I still have the original ticket stub (TS).  I’ve also added the original release date of the films to make this a chronological list (although I probably didn’t see them on opening day) as well as any special memories attached to the viewing experience.  Keep in mind that this is the most comprehensive list of films I can remember seeing and if I can think of any more, I’ll surely add them.

1983

5/25 Return of the Jedi (Main Theater) **Special Note** Saw this FOUR times in the theater.  (Twice at Movies 6.)  Awesome eye candy for a rabid 4 year old Star Wars fanatic.

8/12 The Man Who Wasn’t There 3-D (Main Theater) **Special Note**  Saw it in 3-D.  The sight of 3-D boobs does wonders to a 5 year old’s mind.

11/18 Amityville 3-D (Main Theater) **Special Note** Saw it in 3-D.  The sight of a crispy Candy Clark efficiently set the tone for what I’d come to expect from a horror film.

1984

2/17 Lassiter (Main Theater) **Special Note** Grown-up movie that I was dragged to and fell asleep on.

3/9 Splash! (Main Theater)

3/30 Romancing the Stone (Shoebox Theater)

5/23 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Main Theater) **Special Note** The heart-ripping scene was about as good as it got for 5 year old Mitchy.

6/8 Ghostbusters (Main Theater) 
 

6/8 Gremlins (Side Theater) **Special Note** The shock and awe in the theater during Phoebe Cates’ infamous Santa Claus speech will stay with me forever.

7/20 The Neverending Story (Side Theater) **Big disappointment for 5 year old Mitchy.

7/24 Meatballs 2 (Main Theater) **Special Note** Saw this with my mom who rarely took me to the movies.  She was not amused.

1985

4/18 Legend (Shoebox Theater) **Special Note** Boring as Hell for a 6 year old.

5/22 Rambo:  First Blood Part 2 (Main Theater) **Special Note** Awesome whether you’re 6 or 30.

6/21 Cocoon (Main Theater) **Special Note** First time I realized that old people aren’t a lot of fun.

7/10 Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (Side Theater)

11/27 Rocky 4 (Main Theater)  **Special Note** The combo of this and Rambo in the same year was cinematic bliss for the 7 year old Mitchy.

12/4 Young Sherlock Holmes (Shoebox Theater)

12/11 Jewel of the Nile (Shoebox Theater)

1986

2/28 House (Main Theater) 

5/9 Short Circuit (Shoebox Theater)

5/15 Top Gun (Upstairs Theater)

7/18 Aliens (Side Theater) TS **Special Note** I skipped Vacation Bible Study to see this flick and it was well worth it.

8/15 The Fly (Side Theater) TS **Special Note** Unforgettable.

9/26 Crocodile Dundee (Main Theater) TS

11/26 Solarbabies (Side Theater) **Special Note** First time I remember actually wanting to leave a movie before it was over.

1987

6/5 Harry and the Hendersons  (Main Theater)  **Special Note**  I saw this with only one eye due to a gigantic shiner I got while playing baseball earlier in the day.

7/1 Innerspace (Main Theater)

7/31 The Lost Boys (Shoebox Theater) **Special Note** The first issue of Fangoria that I ever bought had an article on The Lost Boys and that issue got me hooked on Fango for years to come.

8/28 House 2:  The Second Story (Main Theater)

1988

5/13 Friday the 13^th Part 7:  The New Blood (Main Theater) **Special Note** This was the first Jason movie I saw in the theater.

5/20 Willow (Main Theater)

6/22 Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Main Theater)

7/22 Caddyshack 2 (Shoebox Theater)

10/21 Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers (Main Theater) **Special Note** This was the first Halloween movie I saw in the theater.

11/9 Child’s Play (Side Theater)

12/23 Hellbound:  Hellraiser 2  (Main Theater)  **Special Note**  I saw this with my late Uncle Jerry who thought director Tony Randel was the guy from The Odd Couple.

1989

6/9 Star Trek 5:  The Final Frontier (Shoebox Theater)

6/23 Batman (Main Theater)  **Special Note** On opening night, my dad got into an accident on the way to the theater and when my mom said that we’d probably would not see the movie, I threw a fit.  I mean my whole 10 year old world revolved around seeing Batman and NOTHING was preventing me from seeing it.  My parents eventually relented and we saw it anyway.  Little Mitchy always got his way.

6/23 Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (Shoebox Theater)

7/7 Lethal Weapon 2 (Main Theater) **Special Note** Had no idea what this was about because I had never seen Part 1 and ended up loving this flick.  It’s still my favorite of the series.

7/14 Licence to Kill (Shoebox Theater)

8/9 The Abyss (Side Theater) **Special Note** Big disappointment for 11 year old Mitchy.

9/29 Johnny Handsome (Main Theater)

10/13 Halloween 5:  The Revenge of Michael Myers (Main Theater)

11/4 The Phantom of the Opera (Shoebox Theater)

1990

4/6 The First Power (Main Theater) **Special Note** This is the first time I remember going to see something purely because it was the only new movie playing at the time.

5/25 Back to the Future 3 (Shoebox Theater)

6/1 Total Recall (Shoebox Theater) TS **Special Note** First movie I remember ever being stunned into complete silence.  Also the first time I remember a movie was shown in more than one screen at the same time.

6/15 Dick Tracy (Main Theater) **Special Note** Big Disappointment for 11 year old Mitchy.

6/15 Gremlins 2:  The New Batch (Shoebox Theater)

6/22 Robocop 2 (Main Theater) **Special Note** Fuck everybody who says this movie sucks.  11 year old Mitchy loved it and he still does 19 years later.

7/18 Arachnophobia (Main Theater)

8/24 Darkman (Side Theater) TS

11/16 Rocky 5 (Main Theater) TS **Special Note** Fuck everybody who says this movie sucks.  12 year old Mitchy loved it and he still does 19 years later.

11/21 Predator 2 (Side Theater) TS

12/7 The Rookie (Shoebox Theater) **Special Note** Grossly underrated Clint flick.

1991

**Special Note** It’s around this time that the Regal 10 located in The Centre at Salisbury opened up and started taking all the first run movies away from Movies 6.  It would be the first sign that the end was approaching.

6/21 The Rocketeer (Side Theater) **Special Note** Big Disappointment for 12 year old Mitchy.

12/6 Star Trek 6:  The Undiscovered Country (Main Theater)

1992

11/6 Jennifer 8 (Side Theater)

1993

1/8 Leprechaun (Shoebox Theater) TS **Special Note** By now Movies 6 was almost exclusively a “Second Run” discount theater.  Leprechaun was the first “First Run” movie I remember that played at Movies 6 on its opening weekend.

1994

I didn’t see any movies at Movies 6 that year.  Bummer.

1995

12/22 Cutthroat Island (Shoebox Theater) **Special Note** Another “First Run” flick that debuted at Movies 6.

1996

7/17 Multiplicity  (Main Theater) TS

7/26 Supercop (Shoebox Theater) TS

10/31 A Nightmare on Elm Street (Main Theater) **Special Note** This was a special showing that was organized as a fundraiser for a local charity.

1998

**Special Note** Around this time, Movies 6 would periodically get more arty type movies.

3/6 The Big Lebowski (Main Theater) TS

5/22 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Upstairs Theater) TS

9/18 Permanent Midnight (Upstairs Theater) TS

11/13 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (Upstairs Theater) TS

12/11 Star Trek:  Insurrection (Side Theater) TS

1999

3/19 Ravenous (Shoebox Theater)

6/30 South Park:  Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (Main Theater)

10/8 Superstar (Shoebox Theater)

11/12 Dogma (Shoebox Theater)

11/19 Sleepy Hollow (Shoebox Theater)

2000

2/18 Pitch Black (Upstairs Theater) TS

4/5 Black and White (Shoebox Theater) **Special Note** This was the final movie I ever saw at Movies 6.  The movie itself was thoroughly forgettable but I’ll never forget it since this was the last flick I ever saw there.  Sniff…sniff…

Well, that’s quite an impressive list of movies and memories.  Does anybody else have any memories of this theater or of theaters past they’d like to share?  Then leave me a comment.  I’d love to hear from you…

<Special Note:  I had originally intended to have this up on the night that The Diamond State Drive-In Theater closed, but what started out as a small farewell grew into a massive eulogy (nearly 3,000 words).  I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it.>

Felton, Delaware.  Saturday, November 29th.  9:00 pm.

The Diamond State Drive-In Theater, Delaware’s only drive-in movie theater has closed its doors forever.

It’s gone to that Big Drive-In in the Sky.

We may never see another drive-in in the First State again.

But I’ve come here to praise the drive-in, not to bury it.  For over half a century, The Diamond State Drive-In Theater provided Delaware with the best movie-going experience you can have.  To me, there is no single better way to watch a movie than sitting in your own personal automobile under the stars with someone you love.  

The first drive-in theater opened in Camden, New Jersey on June 6, 1933.  Over the years, the number of drive-ins grew and grew, and particularly flourished during the post World War II “Baby Boom”.  It was in this period that The Diamond State Drive-In Theater opened up in Felton (on August 12, 1949 to be exact).  At the peak of drive-in’s popularity, there were close to 5,000 drive-ins in America.  In 1954 there were as many as 9 drive-in theaters in the state of Delaware alone.  Now, there are none.

Now you might say, “Mitch, what does it matter to you?  After all you live in MARYLAND for Pete’s sakes!”

I’ll tell you why it matters to me.  I have a soft spot in my heart for the drive-ins of yesteryear.  One of my earliest and most memorable movie-going experiences was at the now long gone Delmar Drive-In in Delmar, Delaware.  There I saw a double feature of Mortuary and Mausoleum.  It was that night when I saw Bobbie Bresee’s breasts grow monstrous faces and devour Marjoe Gortner that I realized that the drive-in was the only true place to see a movie.  That historic evening took place in Delaware.  As much as I love my home state, the nearest drive-in in Maryland is in Middle River, about three hours away from my house in Bishopville.  Not an easy haul.  The Diamond State Drive-In was about an hour away, a much more manageable commute even when you’re driving home from a from-dusk-till-dawn show. 

The DSDIT was also far more economical than the multiplexes (or as like to call them, “Roofies”).  Double Features cost a measly $8 compared to the $10 you had to fork over in order to see ONE damn movie at a Roofie.  In addition to having some of the best damn popcorn I’ve ever tasted, the DSDIT also served up some out-of-this-world cheeseburgers and inexpensive drinks.  I mean me and my wife would get two tickets, a complete dinner, a healthy ration of snacks for about $30.  You spend that much at a Roofie just on tickets and concessions, without the benefit of a hearty meal AND you only get to see ONE movie to boot.

Plus, you got to enjoy the movie inside the comfy confides of your own personal form of transportation and didn’t have to worry about some stupid teenager talking on his cellphone throughout the whole movie.  If on the rare occasion someone did start getting obnoxious, you could simply roll your window up and turn the volume up on the FM radio and all was right with the world.

Not to mention you get to see some of the best pre-show material that ever graced the silver screen.  I don’t know about you but I’m sick and tired of all those commercials they show at a Roofie before the film starts.  The DSDIT, while they do show one or two newer ads, always begin their night's entertainment with the immortal “Let’s All Go to the Lobby!” advertisement.  Honestly, there should be a federal mandate that says that all movie theaters in the nation have to play this before showing a motion picture.  Nothing and I mean nothing sets the mood for a film like some dancing popcorn and singing soda pop.  They also play vintage ads (my favorite is for the mosquito repellent Pic) and even Woody Woodpecker cartoons in between the features.  That’s old school. 

Now I’m not going to lie to you and pretend that I didn’t honestly prefer the days when drive-ins showed nothing but exploitation fare like The Big Bird Cage, I Spit on Your Grave, and Pieces (or as I like to call it “The Golden Age”) to the family-friendly oriented experience of the here and now.  As previously stated, I was weaned on stuff like Mausoleum so I may be a bit biased, but every now and then, the DSDIT would return to its Golden Age roots.  Like a few years back when, on Halloween weekend, they played an Evil Dead marathon.  I was sadly unaware that this went down until afterwards and I unfortunately missed out on the fun, but I sure as heck was there for the outstanding Texas Chainsaw Massacre Triple Feature in ‘06.  Yes no matter how many Disney movies and kid-friendly flicks the DSDIT showed, they always kept true to their drive-in heritage around All Hallow’s Eve. 

Folks, there is just nothing finer on God’s green Earth than sitting behind the steering wheel of your loyal automobile with the woman you love and watch Leatherface carve up teenagers into human pate not once but THREE times in a single evening.

My first experience with the DSDIT was back in ’03 when me and my brother fired up the dearly departed Ford Tempo and gunned it up Route 13 to see a Comic Book Double Feature of X-Men 2:  X-Men United and Daredevil.  I got to tell you it was love at first sight.  It was 1983 all over again.  While X-Men 2 is a classic piece of drive-in cinema, it was still no Mausoleum, but that was okay.  Top that off with a showing of Daredevil, one of the most criminally underrated movies of the 21st century, and you had not one, but two Four Star classics.

I admit I’m getting a bit teary-eyed at the fact that I will never see the sight of Ben Affleck dressed in tight red leather beating the crap out of low level hoods on an outdoor screen in Delaware ever again.

Personal and financial issues kept me from frequenting the DSDIT for the next couple of years but I never once forgot the magic of that evening watching Hugh Jackman slash the bejesus out of SWAT team personnel with his adamantium claws while under the stars.  It would take three years until I would see my next feature at the DSDIT, but it was well worth the wait as I took my beautiful wife to the aforementioned Texas Chainsaw Massacre Triple Feature.  You just know you’ve found that Special Someone when you can share with her the joys of seeing a redneck lunatic wielding a heavy duty power tool while wearing a mask made out of human skin. 

The next year saw us only visiting the drive-in once to see a double bill of Balls of Fury and the Rob Zombified Halloween.  You know I’ve long had a theory that the very nature of watching a film at a drive-in not only enhances the quality of your movie-going experience but the actual quality of the movie itself.  This theory was proven correct on that night.  By all means, Rob Zombie’s Halloween remake should’ve been a total cinematic turd but somehow seeing Zombie’s white trashy deja vu version of John Carpenter’s immortal classic at the drive-in added at least an extra star to the film.

Then the unthinkable happened.  In the early months of ’08 I learned that this was to be the final year of the beloved DSDIT.  I was dumbstruck.  How could this have happened?  I started beating up on myself for not visiting the drive-in as often as I would’ve liked.  I told myself that I should’ve been a more frequent patron.  That I should’ve gone more than only three times in five years.  As much as I loved the drive-in, I would only wait for “Must See” entertainment to play there before I would go.  If only I had gone more, maybe the drive-in wouldn’t be in this predicament.  I soon made a pledge to visit the drive-in as often as I could, whenever I could, to see whatever looked remotely interesting.

Thankfully ’08 was a GREAT year to be a drive-in moviegoer.  It seemed like wonderful drive-in fare was being cranked out on a week to week basis by Hollywood.  It was as if they sensed that the DSDIT was coming to an end so they decided to shower them with nothing but the finest drive-in flicks since Bobbie Bresee’s mammary monster faces in Mausoleum.

First trip we made up to the DSDIT during its final season was in April to see a double feature of Jumper and Rambo.  Usually drive-in double features work better when the films have a common theme.  Jumper and Rambo were similar in that they both had one-word titles.  Jumper was a low grade sci-fi action flick that like the Halloween remake; played ten times better while projected on the jumbo drive-in screen.  Then there was Rambo.  People, there is just nothing more American than seeing Rambo machinegun the bejabbers out of 2,500 Burmese soldiers while resting comfortably in your American made vehicle.  Sigh...  It’s moments like these that I’ll miss the drive-in most.  Sure I have this movie on DVD, but even if I watched it on Blu-Ray in High Definition quality on a 72 inch plasma screen, it still wouldn’t compare to the majesty of seeing Rambo firing 250,000 rounds of high caliber ammunition into the skulls of slimy Burmese soldiers on the drive-in movie screen.

The first week in May, me and the wife returned to our beloved DSDIT to check out the awesome double feature of Iron Man and The Forbidden Kingdom.  As with Rambo, Iron Man pulled at our jingoistic heartstrings when Robert Downey Jr. pulled a reverse 9/11 on some Afghani soldiers by napalming them in the face with a flamethrower.  Then Forbidden Kingdom started up and believe you me, that the drive-in was the perfect place to see the historic pairing of kung fu superstars Jackie Chan and Jet Li.

A few months later the drive-in was showing a Comic Book Double Feature of Hellboy 2:  The Golden Army and Wanted.  Since I had fond memories of my first trip to the drive-in where they showed a double bill of X-Men 2 and Daredevil, I figured I might as well make another pilgrimage to the DSDIT.  Hellboy 2 was no Daredevil but it did have a great scene in “The Troll Market” where there was about a thousand varieties of aliens, monsters and weirdos.  Wanted was next and it turned out to be the best brain dead action movie since Shoot ‘Em Up.  It didn’t make too much sense (a weaving loom tells assassins who they should murder or some such nonsense) but the best thing I can say about it was that Angelina Jolie’s naked frame looked damn fine projected upon the gargantuan drive-in screen.

A couple weeks passed and I heard that the DSDIT was playing The Dark Knight and The X-Files 2.  Although The Dark Knight is overrated like all get out, it will be forever remembered for Heath Ledger’s take-no-prisoners performance as The Joker; one of the best in the history of the drive-in.  When X-Files started up, it stunk up the joint but good.  Still, seeing a cinematic turd at a drive-in is a lot preferable to seeing a cinematic turd in a Roofie, that’s for damn certain.

Then on Labor Day Weekend, the DSDIT showed a From-Dusk-Till-Dawn Sci-Fi Quintuple Feature of Space Chimps, Meet Dave, Babylon A.D., Journey to the Center of the Earth, and The Happening.  While neither of the films turned out to be classics, most of them carried a wonderful aroma of drive-in goodness.  Space Chimps was typical of the kiddie fare that the drive-in now catered to, but it wasn’t terrible or anything.  Meet Dave was horribly marketed and the previews were awful, but it turned out to be surprisingly decent and had a handful of good laughs.  Babylon A.D. was Babylon O.K. and featured a great drive-in performance by Vin Diesel and some above average futuristic kung fu.  Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D was next, and even though it wasn’t shown in 3-D (I’m beginning to think this new 3-D craze is a complete crock because none of the movies that have been advertised as being in 3-D have actually been showed in 3-D at my local theaters), it had enough eye candy to keep me awake at 3:00 AM.  Finally, The Happening started up and it was probably the best dang M. Night Shyamamadingdong flick ever made.  I’m not saying that it was any good, but it did have that great scene in which Marky Mark begged a plastic plant not to kill him.  

What was even greater than seeing FIVE movies that evening (for the low, low cost of $10) was the fact that it gave us five intermissions to see all of those wonderful drive-in ads, some of which we saw for the first time.  There was the immortal “Let’s All Go to the Lobby”, a classic Woody Woodpecker cartoon, a wonderfully cheesy (no pun intended) nacho commercial from the 70’s, an ad featuring a juggling box of popcorn, as well as the good old “Countdown to Showtime” clock.

In the waning days of the DSDIT, they reverted back to playing nothing but kiddie friendly fare like Beverly Hills Chihuahua and High School Musical 3, so we didn’t really see a need to go back.  When the announcement came that on the final night of the drive-in, there would be only be showing ONE feature, my heart sank.  Although I desperately wanted to have one last visit to my favorite theater, the whole point of going to the drive-in was to get the double feature experience.  Add to the fact that the film in question was Bolt, yet another kid’s movie (and another one of those 3-D movies that’s NOT shown in 3-D) I knew I just couldn’t muster up the strength to go one last time.

I’m glad that the From-Dusk-Till-Dawn show was the final night that I went to the drive-in because that’s exactly how I wanted it to live on in my mind.  Showing great drive-in entertainment from sundown to sunrise, seeing such spectacular sights as Eddie Murphy sharpening his nose with a pencil, Vin Diesel kung fuing people with his futuristic metal hand, Brendan Fraser fighting off prehistoric piranhas, and scenes of people feeding themselves to lions, that’s how I wanted to remember the DSDIT.  I didn’t want to remember the drive-in as the place that showed badly animated CGI movies starring Scientologists. 

It’s kinda like remembering a deceased relative.  You don’t want your last memory of them to be of the senile version of their former self that wasted away dying a slow death in a nursing home.  No, you want to remember them as they were in their prime, when they were filled with life and love. 

Now all this time I didn’t sit idly by and let the drive-in go down without a fight.  I did all I could to help it prevail in its fight.  I wrote a plea to the great drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs who was especially bereaved to hear of the DSDIT’s imminent passing.  I wrote long letters to the Historical Society of Felton, urging them to consider it a historical landmark.  I got a pleasant reply from Sarah Ferguson who let me know that my voice did not go unheard, but at the end of the day, it did little from stopping the inevitable.  No matter how many voices were heard, the drive-in’s lights came to a close on November 29, 2008.

There is a silver lining though.  There are plans to move the drive-in to Wattsville, Virginia where it will hopefully reopen in ’09 or ’10.  By then, who knows what kind of spectacular drive-in entertainment will be in store for us.  One thing is for sure though; wherever the drive-in goes, I most certainly will follow.

Until we meet again under a starlit night, this is Mitch Lovell reminding you that the drive-in will live on...

This here is a new feature at The Video Vacuum called Tales from the Video Vacuum in which I impart to you, my faithful readers some of the hallmark moments in my movie going experiences.  I will also tell you about the unheralded people working in films that you may have missed or had completely forgotten about.  I will also essay random musings here, as well as general madness that spews out of my cranium.

But today, I want to tell you a little story about HOW The Video Vacuum came into being.  I have been writing this blog for almost a year now, but I’ve never actually sat down to tell you all why I do what I do.  Until now. 

I, like many great men in history didn’t have much of a purpose in life until God spoke to me.  Before Noah built the Ark, he was just an average Joe until God spoke him and got him to save all the animals of the Earth, and mankind in the process.  Before Joseph Smith created the Mormon Church, he was just some dude until God spoke to him and he in turn founded a beautiful religion where you can imprison multiple wives, treat ‘em like dog food, and keep ‘em preggers at all times.  Before being the acid guru of the 20^th century, Timothy Leary was a DOCTOR, until God spoke to him on an acid trip and told him to tune in, turn on and drop out. 

I am like those great men.

Before God spoke to me, I was just some guy who watched dozens of movies a month and just kinda absorbed them all.  One day, shortly after watching Herschell Gordon Lewis’ The Gore Gore Girls, God spoke.  He said, “Mitchell, you need to spread the word.  You need to tell others just how truly demented this movie is.  You need to tell the people of this great planet about the scene where the killer beats a woman’s ass with a meat tenderizer.  You must tell the teeming masses about the scene where the killer rips out the girl’s eyeballs while marching band music plays.  And certainly you must tell them about the part when the killer cuts off a chick’s nipples and both white and chocolate milk shoots out.”  Then God whispered and said, “And if it’s at all possible try to tell ‘em that Henny Youngman, of all people is in the flick too.”  

I asked God how the heck I was gonna do that and he told me to make a magazine and distribute it locally, which I did for about a year or so.  It wasn’t until my beautiful wife Sarah got me set up on the net that I was finally able to spread my gospel to people worldwide. 

Now I know a lot of my reviews will not be popular, but then again any great man in history with God on his side is gonna have to deal with the crazy people out there who don’t want them to spread His word.  Jesus got crucified for it, JFK got his head turned into Ambrosia salad by an assassin’s bullet because of it, and Malcolm X got Red Shirted PDQ as well.  (Okay so Malcolm X was Muslim, but he had Mohammad on his side and Mohammad IS a god, so there.)  I know someday I will come face to face with an angry humanoid with an itchy trigger finger wanting to pull a Sirhan Sirhan on me.  He’ll probably say something like, “How could you possibly give Peter Jackson’s King Kong two stars and the Dino DiLaurentiis remake three?” and before I can say “Jessica Lange’s titties”, he’ll shoot me square in the face. 

(Since my tale will be eerily similar to that of Jesus, JFK and Malcolm X, hopefully either Mel Gibson, Oliver Stone or Spike Lee are taking notes so they can turn my life story into a movie.)

But don’t mourn my death brothers and sisters, for I will be returned to His kingdom where God will welcome me into the pearly gates with open arms; a Coke in one hand, hot buttered popcorn in the other, and me, Him, Elvis, Sid Vicious, Bela Lugosi and Russ Meyer will hunker down for Movie Night and watch a double feature of Basket Case and Frankenhooker. 

Speaking of the classics, that begs the question, “What kinds of movies can be found in The Video Vacuum?”  The answer is simple:  All kinds.  While my tastes run towards horror and exploitation, any movie I see is considered fodder for The VV.  After all God didn’t discriminate, so why should I? 

For those who read the site, thank you.  If you like what you read, tell your friends.  If you don’t, tell your friends.

See you all in The Vacuum.

--Mitch Lovell