Batman and Robin make their screen debut in this awesomely dated 15 chapter serial.  The plot has Japanese spy Prince Daka (J. Carroll Naish) threatening Gotham City with a “radium gun” and turning people into mind control zombies.  The funniest scene is when Daka puts a poor dope into “the zombie chair”, which looks like a cross between a spittoon, a sunhat and an electric chair.  Batman’s costume changes from chapter to chapter (from black to blue, from short and pointy ears to long and curved).  It was made just after Pearl Harbor, so it’s filled with hateful dialogue and racist characters.  Lewis Wilson stars as Batman and Douglas Croft plays Robin.  Lambert (The Invisible Ray) Hillyer directed.

Where Batman actually returns FROM I have no idea (maybe he was on vacation or something), but he comes back to star in this uneven but satisfying sequel.  This time Batman (Michael Keaton) fights the ugly, disgusting Penguin (Danny DeVito) who lives in the sewer and the sexy Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer).  Max Schreck (Christopher Walken) is the real villain however.  He secretly wants to drain Gotham City of all it’s power and rides on the coattails of the Penguin as he ascends his way to becoming the mayor.  Meanwhile Schreck’s lowly secretary Selina Kyle falls for Bruce Wayne, which complicates their relationship when they have to dress up in black rubber and fight each other.  

It’s darker than the first movie and parents complained about the grotesque Penguin biting people’s noses off.  The Penguin is grosser and uglier than he was in the comics and (like the Joker) gets more screen time than Batman.  He also wears out his welcome pretty fast.  Pfeiffer and Keaton are great in their scenes together (in and out of costume) and Pfeiffer is good at balancing Kyle’s fragmented, broken persona with Catwoman’s sexy, slinky side.  Walken steals the movie though and easily outshines the other two villains.  The art direction and the Impressionistic sets (by Bo Welsh) are impressive but they don’t exactly jibe with the look of the first movie.    

It’s nowhere near as good as the first film and is clearly more of a Tim Burton flick than an honest to God Batman movie.  It also suffers from not having one character as remotely as interesting as the Joker, but the movie actually gets better upon repeated viewings and is a heck of a lot better than the Joel Schumacher directed sequels.  Burton and Keaton bolted after this flick, but returning co-stars Michael Gough and Pat Hingle stuck it out for two more movies.  Michael Murphy, Christy Conway, Paul Reubens and Vincent Schiavelli also co-star.  The popularity of Catwoman led to Burton leaving her alive at the end of the film for a possible spin-off, which took twelve years to finally rear its ugly head.

This 45 minute compilation shows the evolution of the Batman character through his creation by Bob Kane for Detective Comics in the 30’s, 15 chapter serials in the 40’s, the campy TV show in the 60’s and the blockbuster Tim Burton movie of 1989.  Some of the serial footage is shown as well as some Kane art, but most of the time is spent on the TV show.  There’s Batman commercials (one with Milton Berle!), promos, and behind the scenes footage but no scenes from the actual show.  There are no scenes from the Burton movie either, but a lot of the merchandising is shown.  The best part is seeing Adam West in full costume at a convention signing autographs.  Worth a look for any dyed in the wool Batman fanatic.

Alfred:  “Can I persuade you to take a sandwich sir?”  

Batman:  “I’ll get drive thru!”    

Ah, yes Joel Schumacher was in control of this baby alright.  Warner Brothers worried about alienating kiddies from the sights of fish gut eating Penguins and sexually primal Catwomen so they hired Schumacher to make a more family friendly Batman movie.  The lighter tone really isn’t the real problem of the movie.  The real problem is that the villains pretty much suck.  In the comics, Two Face was a great character.  Half of his face was scarred by acid and he was constantly at odds with his Jekyll and Hyde persona, so much so that he had to flip a coin in order to determine his enemy’s fate.  As portrayed by Tommy Lee Jones, he’s more of an embarrassing third rate Joker knock off.  (And since Billy Dee Williams played his alter ego, Harvey Dent in the first movie, he should have been played by his Lando-ness.)  And Jim Carrey plays The Riddler as well… Jim Carrey.  (Memo to Jim:  the word “joygasm” should never be uttered in a Batman movie.)  Val Kilmer fills in for Michael Keaton and does a good job in Bruce Wayne’s shoes, but his lips are way too big to be Batman.  The actor who comes off best is Chris O’Donnell as Robin.  As disjointed as the rest of the movie is, Schumacher handles the Robin origin story extremely well and O’Donnell brings the right amount of cockiness and naiveté to the role.  

The height of the nonsense comes when a gangster throws acid in Jones’ face in a courtroom and Batman is clearly seen jumping out of the juror’s box to try to save him.  Did I miss something?  Do superheroes have to serve on jury duty?  I can imagine Batman sitting alone in the Batcave sorting through his mail:  Bills, bills, death threat from The Riddler, more bills… summons for jury duty?!?  Despite the movie’s lapses, it moves along at a good clip and is never boring.  

Co-starring Nicole Kidman, Michael Gough (who also was in Top Secret with Kilmer), Pat Hingle, Ed Begley, Jr., Rene Auberjonois, and Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar as Two Face’s arm candy Sugar and Spice.  Schumacher directed the much hated sequel, Batman and Robin next.

After two ridiculously campy (but fun) Joel Schumacher sequels, Memento director Christopher Nolan takes things back to basics and shows us how Bruce Wayne (American Psycho’s Christian Bale) becomes Batman.  Though it’s an origin story, it owes more to Jeph Loeb’s The Long Halloween and Dark Victory than to Frank Miller’s Year One comics.  

After Bruce sees his parents murdered, he devotes his life to fighting crime.  He’s trained in the ninja arts by the mysterious Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson) and the evil Ra’s Al Ghul (Ken Wantanabe).  After refusing to kill in cold blood, Bruce leaves them behind and returns home to Gotham City.  With the help of his trusty butler Alfred (Michael Caine) and the Q-like Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) he creates an arsenal of weapons (including a bad ass Batmoblie), but more importantly, the Batman persona.  

Bale is really good at making Batman one scary bastard (I ain’t gonna commit no crimes in Gotham I’ll tell you that much) with his vicious lightning quick attacks and his scary ass voice.  Equally as scary is Cillian Murphy as the villain, Scarecrow.  (Hell he’s just as creepy when he doesn’t wear his mask!)  He uses his “fear gas” to scare the shit out of the crime bosses of Gotham to take over the city.  The best part of the damn movie is when Batman turns the tables on Scarecrow and gives him a whiff of his own medicine.  Gary Oldman is excellent as Detective Gordon, as is Rutger Hauer as Mr. Earle, but Katie Holmes is just okay as the love interest.  Co-written by David S. (Blade: Trinity) Goyer.  Let’s hope the sequels are as equally good and as nipple on the Batsuit free as this one.

Batman and Robin returned in their second Columbia serial.  Despite a plethora of worthy villains in Batman’s rouge gallery, the filmmakers once again opted to create their own nemesis for Batman.  This time, The Wizard, a Crimson Ghost wannabe in a black cloaked hood terrorizes Gotham City.  Batman and Robin have close calls with speeding cars, bridges and falls from tall buildings.  Robert Lowry overcomes a goofy suit (the ears are way too big) to make a good Batman, but John Duncan, as Robin looks half asleep.  There’s no Batmobile and like in the earlier serial, Batman and Robin change into their costumes in the backseat of their car!  Co-star Lyle Talbot who plays Commissioner Gordon later starred in many Ed Wood films.

Robin:  “I want a car.  Chicks dig the car!”  

Batman (to camera):  “This is why Superman works alone!”  

The fourth film in the Batman franchise achieves the impossible:  it’s actually CAMPIER than the original 1960’s television series.  Like the show, it’s filled with bad puns, garish colors and isn’t boring.  It’s got a pretty bad reputation, but it’s fascinating to watch in a train wreck sort of way, and is at least more fun than Batman Forever.  This movie borders the thin line between complete incompetence and sheer brilliance.  

What’s more, every single creative decision director Joel Schumacher makes is WRONG!  Have Arnold Schwarzenegger play Mr. Freeze?  WRONG!  Having every line that Mr. Freeze says be either a cheesy “cold”, “ice”, or “freeze” pun?  WRONG!  Ask George Clooney to play Batman as well… George Clooney?  WRONG!  Have Uma Thurman play Poison Ivy as a bad Mae West imitator?  WRONG!  Have Bane, one of the cooler baddies in Batman’s rouge gallery, reduced to being a mindless monosyllabic stooge?  WRONG!  Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl?  WRONG!  Have Batgirl be Alfred’s niece?  WRONG!  (She’s supposed to be Commissioner Gordon’s daughter.)  And don’t get me started on the whole nipples on the Batsuit thing!  

Despite these impossible odds, or perhaps because of them, the movie still manages to be highly entertaining.  I hate to use the cliché “so bad it’s good”, but seriously if any movie was made to fit that cliché, this is it.  

The flick starts out with The Dynamic Duo battling Mr. Freeze in a museum.  “The Iceman Cometh!”  Batman drops in and nonchalantly introduces himself.  “Hi Freeze.  I’m Batman.”  Freeze grabs him and throws him through the air and Batman says, “Whoa!”  (I’m sorry but Batman should never ever say “Whoa!”)  Freeze says, “You’re not sending me to the cooler!” and sends his goons after them.  “Kill the heroes!  Kill them!  Yes!  Kill!!  Yes!  Destroy everything!”  Yep folks, this is the kind of movie where the villains says, “Kill the heroes!”  While fighting Freeze’s ice skating goons, Robin quips, “It’s a hockey team from Hell!”  All I’m going to say about the ensuing fight scene is thank goodness the Batsuit is equipped with ice skates to combat them.  In the meantime Freeze muses, “What killed the dinosaurs?  The Ice Age!” and escapes in his rocket ship.  Batman tries to stop him but Freeze gets the upper hand and captures him.  All I’m going to say about Freeze’s ensuing getaway is thank goodness Freeze’s suit comes equipped with wings (YES WINGS!)  Meanwhile Robin saves Batman from Freeze’s rocket.  All I’m going to say about their escape is thank goodness rocket ship doors double as surfboards.  “Cowabunga!”  

While all this nonsense is going on, Dr. Pamela Isley becomes the deadly Poison Ivy when her psycho rival (John Glover) kills her and she is resurrected as a killer plant lady whose venom filled lips can kill a man with a single kiss.  “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature!”  She then heads to Gotham City with her super strong henchman Bane (Jeep Swenson) in tow.  Meanwhile Mr. Freeze forces his henchmen to sing Christmas carols as he spurns the advances of moll Ms. B. Haven (Vivica A. Fox).  We learn that Freeze must steal diamonds to fuel his freezing suit and freezing gun.  He also keeps his terminally ill wife (Vendela) cryogenically frozen until he can find a cure.  “Leave us!  We need quality time!”  Back at Wayne Manor, Alfred’s niece Barbara comes to stay with him, Bruce and Dick.  As Freeze watches home movies of him and his wife, a henchman interrupts and Freeze freezes him.  “I hate it when people talk during the movie!”  

That night at a diamond charity auction where Batman and Robin are the guests of honor, Poison Ivy crashes the party.  All I’m going to say about the way she gets everyone’s attention is that she does a striptease out of a purple gorilla suit.  She puts herself up for auction and puts a spell on the two heroes by using some love dust.  Batman wins the auction naturally by using his Mastercard (which is good through “FOREVER” by the way).  “Never leave the cave without it!”  Freeze shows up and throws cold water on the sexual innuendo.  “Everybody CHILL!”  Batman however gets the upper hand and apprehends him and Freeze gets whisked away to Arkham Asylum where he’s put in a refrigerated cell.  “You can’t live outside the cold zone!”  

Meanwhile Barbara participates in an underground motorcycle race (run by Coolio).  When she’s run off a cliff, Dick swoops in at the last minute to save her.  Afterwards she confides in him that Alfred is dying.  Back at Arkham, Ivy shows up to spring Freeze.  Bane grabs his freezing suit for him and Freeze exclaims, “A laundry service that delivers!  Wow!”  They head back to Freeze’s hideout where Batman and Robin are waiting.  Ivy uses her love dust to have them fight over her so they can escape.  She also pulls the plug on Freeze’s wife and tells him that Batman was responsible.  Together they concoct a plan to freeze the planet and overrun it with plants, killing everyone else on Earth in the process, except for themselves of course.  “Adam and Evil!”  We also learn that Alfred has the same disease Freeze’s wife has and Freeze is the only one that can cure him.  

Elsewhere Ivy convinces Robin that he’s just as good as Batman and deserves his own signal.  Meanwhile Barbara hacks into Alfred’s computer, learns that Bruce and Dick are Batman and Robin, discovers the Batcave and suits up as Batgirl.  Ivy lures Robin to her lair and tells him her plan before giving him a deadly kiss.  Thankfully he’s wearing rubber lips (Of all the bad puns in the movie I can’t imagine why there isn’t some sort of “protection” joke here, but never mind.) and doesn’t die.  She has her vines capture Batman and Robin and tries to flee, but Batgirl gets the drop on her.  “Using feminine wiles to get what you want, trading on your looks, read a book sister!  That passive aggressive number went out long ago!  Chicks like you give women a bad name!”  She cold cocks Ivy, who yells “Curses!”  

Yep folks, this is the kind of movie in which the villain yells, “Curses!”  

Batgirl then reveals her identity to Batman.  “Batgirl?  That’s not awfully PC.  What about Batperson or Batwoman?”  Batman, Robin, and Batgirl then don brand new silvery suits (obviously a gratuitous toy tie-in) and head down to the Gotham Observatory to stop Freeze from freezing the world.  Batman confronts Freeze and tells him that it was actually Ivy who pulled the plug on his wife, who miraculously is still alive.  He promises Freeze that he can still continue his work at Arkham if he cures Alfred.  Freeze gives him the serum and says, “Take two of these and call me in the morning!”  At Arkham he becomes Ivy’s cellmate, “Prepare for a bitter harvest!  Winter has come at last!”  Back at Wayne Manor, Freeze’s serum cures Alfred, who muses, “We’re going to need a bigger cave!”  

In short:  big budget bad movie jackpot.  

After this flick flopped big time, Warner Brothers put the franchise on ice (no pun intended) for eight years until Christopher Nolan reinvented the Dark Knight with Batman Begins.  Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman (who also co-wrote Batman Forever) incredibly would go on to win an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind, but you never would have guessed that from such dialogue as “Let’s kick some ice!”  Co-starring Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon, Elle MacPherson as Julie Madison and Jesse “The Body” Ventura as a prison guard.

This big budget blockbuster based on the legendary DC Comic character should have been called The Joker, because that’s who gets all the screen time.  You won’t care though because as played by Jack Nicholson, he’s one of the greatest screen villains of all time.  It’s also one of Jack’s best performances and features more quotable dialogue (“Never rub another man’s rhubarb!”) than you can shake a stick at.  Michael Keaton is pretty good as the brooding Bruce Wayne/Batman, but it would take one more film for him to fully grow into the role.  Director Tim Burton brings a suitably darker tone to the movie than most people were comfortable with, and is wise enough to let Nicholson go gleefully over the top.  The film was heavily criticized for not focusing enough time on Bruce Wayne, but Burton’s purpose is to establish and build up the Batman mythos in the minds of the people (and more importantly the criminals) of Gotham City.  It takes a page from the comic, The Man Who Laughs and shows how gangster Jack Napier becomes The Joker, which parallels how Bruce Wayne evolved into Batman.  (Batman inadvertently drops Napier into a vat full of chemicals, turning him into a psychopathic clown faced killer.)  While The Joker terrorizes the city with tainted beauty products that turn people into grinning corpses, millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne romances photographer Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) and tries to come to grips with telling her his secret identity.  

The film though really belongs to Nicholson.  He has numerous classic scenes, among my favorites:  The scene where he guns down crime boss Grissom (Jack Palance).  “Jack is dead my friend, you can call me Joker!”  The scene where he defaces works of art in a museum before Batman breaks it up.  “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”  And of course, his immortal line:  “Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”  We get also get the definitive version of the Batmoblie, as well as the badass Batwing, which Joker shoots out of the sky with his big ass pistol.  

The ten minute lead up to the final mano y mano confrontation between the Caped Crusader and the Clown Prince of Crime was filmed in real time, which is a good idea, but it would have benefited by tighter editing.  Unfortunately, the filmmakers kill off Joker (“Sometimes I just kill myself!”), presumably only because Jack pocketed over $50 million dollars for his role and probably would have wanted double for a sequel.  Co-starring Michael Gough as Alfred, Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent (later Two Face), Robert Wuhl, Jerry Hall, and Tracey Walter.  Danny Elfman provided the excellent score and Prince supplied a couple of snappy tunes.  Burton and Keaton teamed up the previous year on Beetlejuice.