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SLAUGHTER (1972) ***

  • Apr. 21st, 2009 at 9:12 AM

Jim Brown stars in one of the best of the Shaft imitators of the 70’s.  He plays Slaughter, an ex-Green Beret soldier out to avenge the death of his father.  Slaughter goes around shooting people in the forehead for about a half an hour until the Feds offer him a job to take out the main Mafioso responsible for capping his daddy.  Slaughter agrees and for the next hour or so busts a lot of heads and shoots a lot of white people.

 

Slaughter is a real treat to watch, mostly because of the great cast supporting cast.  Rip Torn chews up the scenery nicely as the sleazy gangster, Don Gordon is funny as Slaughter’s partner, and Cameron Mitchell is a blast in the smallish role as Slaughter’s bigoted boss.  Stella Stevens also looks damn fine as the love interest and has three major nude scenes (two sex scenes with Brown and a shower scene) too.  

 

Jim Brown is the reason to watch it though.  He kicks a lot of ass and blows away a bunch of white dudes, so any blaxploitation fan worth his salt needs to check this flick out ASAP.  You also get a great title sequence and cool theme song by Billy Preston too.

 

The only downside is that director Jack (Cleopatra Jones) Starrett uses some weird lens on the camera every time Slaughter does something cool.  Whenever this happens, everything gets stretched out and wall-eyed and it’s hard to tell just what the Hell is going on.  For example:  Slaughter will break down a door and beat somebody up.  Unfortunately, since we’re watching it through what looks to be a funhouse mirror, it makes what could’ve been a tight action scene seem incomprehensible.  Half star deduction for that.  But don’t let that stop you from checking Slaughter out.  It’s filled with wall-to-wall action and the Stretch-O-Vision nonsense is only a minor annoyance in an otherwise stellar blaxploitation action flick.

 

Co-screenwriter Mark Hanna, who also wrote such 50’s classics as Not of This Earth, The Amazing Colossal Man, and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman; was responsible for Slaughter’s tough guy dialogue like, “Get your narrow ass out of here!”

LOW BLOW (1986) **

  • Nov. 19th, 2008 at 8:51 AM

Leo Fong wrote, produced and stars as a chicken feet soup eating, Members Only jacket wearing detective who is hired by a rich industrialist (Troy Donahue) to rescue his daughter from a cult ran by the blind Yarakunda (none other than Cameron Mitchell).  Fong puts on a Toughman competition to see who’s got the guts necessary to help him storm the cult’s fortress and rescue the brainwashed bimbo.

 

You would think that any movie that featured Cameron Mitchell as a cult leader named Yarakunda who wears a Satanist robe and has a pentagram tattooed on his face would be worth a look.  Well, you’d be right.  The scenes where Mitchell hams it up talking a lot of gibberish about love and God are great fun, especially if you’re a fan of the man.  It’s just a shame that he’s actually a “good” guy and really believes he’s doing the Lord’s work.  Actually it’s his head of security, Karma (Akosua Busia) that’s the real villain who is just using Yarakunda for her own purposes.  Imagine how much fun the movie would’ve been if Mitchell had been TRULY nutzo.  Oh well, you can still have some fun spotting Tae Bo guru Billy Blanks in an early role as a guard.

 

Fong is OK in the lead and his fight scenes are decent for the most part.  The opening Sudden Impact style scene where he breaks up a robbery was well done, although most of the action looks like it suffers from a lack of time and money.  There is one hilarious part that makes the flick recommended.  It comes when Fong is battling a security guard and he steps on the guard’s head and crushes it.  The effect is nothing more than a watermelon with a face painted on it.  It’s almost worth sitting through this lifeless actioner just to see that WTF moment.

 

Oh and yes, true to the title, lots of people are dealt low blows.

 

AKA:  Savage Sunday.  AKA:  The Last Fight to Win:  The Bloody End.

KILLPOINT (1984) **

  • Nov. 18th, 2008 at 5:20 PM

Leo Fong is the “star” of this 80’s action flick, but the real reason to check it out is to see exploitation vets Richard Roundtree and Cameron Mitchell doing what they do best.

 

Mitchell plays a slimy crime kingpin that specializes in running guns who is fond of leaving no witnesses at the scene of a crime.  This means if he sends in his goons to kill a rival who is eating at a Chinese restaurant; they also have to wipe out every single customer in the joint.  He also gets his kicks by slapping around hookers, killing them and tossing their bodies into the river.  Fong is the cop whose trying to bring Mitchell to justice and Roundtree is the fed who helps out.

 

Mitchell hams it up like only he can.  Wearing an ascot and women’s sunglasses, Mitchell shoots TV’s that gives him bad press and bitches at his woman when her poodle shits on the floor.  There’s also a disturbing scene where he murders a waitress just because her baby was crying too loud.  (In his defense, the little brat DID shut up after his mama croaked.)  In short; classic Cameron Mitchell.  Stack Pierce is also excellent as Nighthawk, Mitchell’s cold-blooded right hand man.

 

The rest of the movie leaves something to be desired.  The action is sparse and Fong isn’t much of a leading man.  He kinda looks like an elderly basset hound with his droopy face and baggy eyes and doesn’t have much charisma.  His fight scenes are sloppily tossed together and indifferently filmed.  It also doesn’t help that his kung fu prowess is about the same as mine.  Roundtree is good, but it seems like he and Fong are starring is separate movies and they don’t have much screen time together.

 

Nighthawk gets the best line of the movie when he tells an underling:  “You mess this up, he’ll kill you, your mamma, your daddy, your sister AND your brother!”

 

Fong, Pierce and Mitchell all returned two years later for Low Blow.

RAW FORCE (1982) ***

  • Sep. 7th, 2007 at 9:32 PM
Take one cup of Enter the Dragon, toss in a pinch of Under Siege, add a dosage of Night of the Living Dead and marinate in a middle of the road Love Boat episode. Bake for 83 minutes and what you get is Raw Force.

Cameron (The Toolbox Murders) Mitchell, Camille (I Spit on Your Grave) Keaton, and Vic (Superbeast) Diaz star in this film about a cruise ship full of karate experts who go to the mysterious Warrior’s Island for a secret martial arts tournament. There they run afoul of some white slavers, led by a guy who looks like a cross between Adolph Hitler and Colonel Sanders, who sell girls to a group of cannibal monks who barbeque bimbos and eat them to gain the power necessary to raise an army of kung fu zombies. Oh yeah and lots of girls (including a young Jewel Shepard) get totally naked for various unimportant reasons.

Look, either you’re the kind of person whose ears perk up at the sound of the words “Cameron Mitchell”, “white slavers”, “cannibal monks”, “lots of girls totally naked”, or “kung fu zombies”, or you’re not. Said people who know and appreciate these phrases will instantly want to track this one down. Anyone who says “Cameron who?”, “cannibal huh?”, or “kung fu what?” need not apply.

Yeah, yeah I know Raw Force is far from perfect. It’s got way too much slow motion, some scenes are too dark and you can’t tell what the hell’s going on, and it suffers greatly from it’s $7.36 budget, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t the greatest kung fu zombie/cannibal monk movie Cameron Mitchell ever made.

AKA: Kung Fu Cannibals. AKA: Shogun Island.

THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS (1980) **

  • Aug. 20th, 2007 at 8:55 PM
Neither does this movie. Richard (Night Court) Moll stars as a pompous ass of an author who writes a book called “God is Dead”. He’s married to this Xanax Queen of a wife who’s having visions and nightmares and everyone she consults about it (like a Vegas mind reader) ends up dead. Meanwhile cop Cameron (The Toolbox Murders) Mitchell is investigating the death of an old fart Nazi hunter who was convinced that a cruel Nazi general (appropriately named Olivier) is still roaming around with the power of eternal youth. We learn fairly quickly that this guy is actually Satan’s emissary (you can tell by his cloven hooves) and soon enough he’s trying to coax Moll into his ranks. Moll’s not having any of it though and says “I serve no Master!” which pisses the pretty boy Satan worshipper off so he turns his face into boiled cabbage. His wife finally snaps out of her stupor and figures out the best way to kill him is to strap him to an operating table, cut his heart out and stick it in the microwave. Brilliant. (I didn’t know microwaves were standard issue emergency room equipment. Oh well.) While this scene makes great use of medical stock footage ala Doctor Butcher MD, the rest of the movie is a rather bloodless and dull affair.

I’m a die hard Cameron Mitchell fan, so it’s my devout duty to watch every single skuzzy movie the man was in, but even this one was a bit of a chore. He delivers a remarkably restrained performance and leaves the histrionics to Moll, who gets some hilarious dialogue like “We’re taking a vacation from patriotism!”, “I take no joy in destroying your beliefs”, and “How many books must I write to convince you that such things do not exist!” but it’s a crazy preacher man who gets the film’s best line: “Everyone needs help, Mr. Noble Prize winner!”

This flick also features perennial screen tough guy Marc (Pigs) Lawrence as a detective, Nazi flashbacks, pointless and irritating dream sequences, a bikini model that can create whirlwinds with her mind, the lamest exploding car in the history of man, and worse of all: gratuitous disco dancing.

If parts of this flick look familiar it’s because the producers stuck 30 minutes of the movie into the great anthology horror movie, Night Train to Terror. But since this movie doesn’t feature hilarious scenes of God and Satan arguing on a train while breakdancers cavort around, it’s not nearly as much fun. Actually it’s pretty tedious, but the dialogue is a hoot (“I see swastikas swimming in my oatmeal!”) and Moll is fun to watch as the smarmy bastard writer. Perhaps if the rest of the film maintained the level of goriness that hallmarked the ending, The Nightmare Never Ends could have been a winner, but as is it’s just a passable time waster. Besides, I’ll watch any cheapie Mitchell will show his face in. Moll was also in writer/producer Phillip Yordan’s awful Mormon western Savage Journey.

AKA: Cataclysm. AKA: Satan’s Supper.

THE TOOLBOX MURDERS (1978) ****

  • Aug. 20th, 2007 at 12:57 PM
The Toolbox Murders is one of those cherished 70’s Grindhouse exploitation flicks that actually live up to it’s awesomely sick trailer. (“Bit by bit… he carved a nightmare!”) It’s also a showcase the wonderfully nuanced performance of the great screen psycho Cameron Mitchell who truly delivers one of the nuttiest nutzo roles in the history of mankind.

Mitchell plays the owner of an LA apartment building who snaps after his daughter dies in a car accident and puts on a ski mask and goes on a rampage killing “dirty” girls who live in his building. The first half hour of the flick is merely nothing more than Mitchell killing women with his trusty tool kit. He drills one girl, bashes another with a hammer, and stabs another with a screwdriver. The piece de resistance though is the thoroughly awesome death scene of a naked slut with a nail gun shortly after she’s masturbated in the tub. He finds one “clean” girl and kidnaps her and ties her to a bed and pretends that she’s his dead daughter.

Oddly enough though after the carnage dies down, the flick switches gears and becomes a second rate Hardy Boys rip-off (the director had directed an episode of the show) as the girl’s brother teams up with Mitchell’s nephew to find the murderer. The movie climaxes to a pretty shocking ending, one that you probably won’t soon forget.

Gorehounds would have just been satisfied with the excellent murder and mutilation (not to mention the ample amount of nudity), but what earns The Toolbox Murders a special place in my heart is the whacked out performance by Cameron Mitchell. He’s very menacing in the scenes when he’s stalking his prey, and quite convincing during his emotional scenes with his “daughter” as well. But what really makes his performance cook is the crazy shit that comes out of his mouth. (“L-O-Double L-I-P-O-P spells Lollipop!”) The scene where he wigs out and calls the women he’s killed “Unnatural” like a hundred times is definitely one for the books.

Forget about the ho-hum Tobe Hooper remake and stick with the original sleaze classic.

THE MESSENGER (1987) ** ½

  • Aug. 18th, 2007 at 7:21 PM
Fred Williamson, Cameron Mitchell and Joe Spinell in one movie! How can you go wrong? No matter how bad the movie is (this one is no One Down, Two to Go) it’s worth watching for three greats of exploitation cinema.

Williamson plays a former Green Beret/ex-con, who gets out of jail and promptly makes love to his woman (Sandy Cummings). He finds out she’s hooked on drugs and chastises her, “You can’t make babies with this stuff running through your system!” When his woman gets Uzi’ed to death by some drug dealers he goes into action taking down the entire drug syndicate. He kung fus drug dealing rapists with mullets and bludgeons a caretaker rapist with a shovel, so not only are the drug dealers after him, but the caretaker’s union too! After ignoring all warnings (“They’ll grind your ass up and turn you into chitlins!”) he travels from Italy to Chicago to Vegas to LA blowing away scum who dress like the lost members of the Jackson 5. In the course of the movie he ninja stars the hell out of people, blows away punks in slow motion, orders wine and sends it back, forces guys to piss on each other and breaks a guy’s neck like a chicken.

Mitchell co-stars as a detective (“You got that Mr. Asshole?”), and the always fun to watch Spinell plays a greasy mobster named Rico who gets his jollies by watching naked women dance in his living room. Despite the presence of the cast, this flick has some of the worst edited action sequences ever. In the scene where Cummings fires a gun at her attackers the bullets spray against the hood of a car. After she gets murdered, we see Williamson pick up a gun, but never fire it, but somehow he sprays the car (now with NO bullet holes) with bullets in the same exact spot! Priceless. And before blowing away a Mafioso in the final shootout, Williamson gets hits by an unidentified person with a potted plant then the movie ends. Who the hell hit him with a plant? A servant? A bodyguard? The movie just ends with him getting up. I mean no one hits Fred Williamson with a potted plant and gets away with it. There’s also an unnecessary subplot about a Mafia wife who slowly has to come to grips with her hubby’s drug dealing ways. (“It’s not funny you silly bitch! I’ll be killed dead bang!”)

Williamson also wrote, produced, and directed this sucker and gives himself lines like “Once a month she came to see me in jail and that means more to me than whose fly she was unzipping!” At 97 minutes, it’s probably 17 minutes longer than it should have been (the ending is unnecessarily drawn out) but it would still make a good Badass Taking on Drug Dealers in 1987 double feature with Death Wish 4 (right down to the “surprise ending”).

FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND (1981) ½ *

  • Aug. 18th, 2007 at 2:20 PM
Jerry Warren, who has been responsible for some of the worst cinematic atrocities known to man (The Incredible Petrified World anyone?) returns with his final motion picture.

He saved the worst for last.

Warren had been making films since the early 50’s and by the time he got around to making this one (after a 15 year hiatus) horror films in general had changed greatly. I mean in ’81 alone there was An American Werewolf in London, which broke new ground for special effects make-up, Lucio Fulchi’s The Beyond which set a new standard for stomach churning gore, and Friday the 13th Part 2, which witnessed the birth of America’s favorite masked maniac Jason Vorhees.

Unfortunately, despite advances in special effects and audiences’ expectations, Warren was still making films they way he did back in the 50’s: BADLY.

Four balloonists (and I use that term very loosely because we never seen the actors in the balloon, only stock footage of random hot air balloons with dialogue badly edited in) led by Robert (The Hideous Sun Demon) Clarke land on a remote island where they are befriended by nubile loin cloth clad native cave girls. Pretty soon a crusty crew of seamen led by the one eyed Steve Brodie (a veteran of Warren’s The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman) leads the balloonists to a castle where Frankenstein’s latest descendant, Sheila (Batwoman herself, Katherine Victor) is up to no good. Her “husband” is an ancient looking, bedridden old fart who was once the original Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant. When Clarke becomes incredulous to his credentials he retorts, “Good God man, didn’t she tell you, I’m almost 200 years old!”

The good doctor also keeps a race of robot henchmen who dress like beatniks around for no good reason whatsoever and performs blood transfusions to keep her hubby alive. In the end, the Frankenstein monster shows up to ruin everything. To say that the monster’s appearance in the final few minutes is too little too late would be an understatement. To say this movie is an unmitigated disaster would be an understatement. To say that this flick never approaches anything close to being watchable would be an understatement. While other Warren films have been so bad, that they’ve been entertaining (like Teenage Zombies for instance), this one is just unbearable.

It wasn’t bad enough that Warren was still using the same camera, lighting, editing and make-up techniques that he used in the 50’s, but he also used the same actors as well. (How many 80’s movies can you say were headlined by Robert Clarke?)

The production values are pretty much nonexistent (plastic Dracula fangs are passed off as “special” effects) and the acting, writing, and directing are even worse. Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, a decrepit looking John Carradine shows up as the “apparition of Dr. Frankenstein” and shouts “The power! The power! The power!”

The only good part is seeing the great Cameron Mitchell in a supporting role as a Poe spouting imprisoned sailor, but that’s not saying a whole heck of a lot.

THE DEMON (1979) **

  • Aug. 17th, 2007 at 8:25 PM
“The time of the Demon, OUR Demon, is drawing close.” Yep Cameron Mitchell, the man who said “unnatural” like 157 times in one scene in the classic The Toolbox Murders is at it again. This time he plays a psychic investigating a kidnapping perpetrated by a psycho killer who wears razor lined gloves. (Five years before Freddy Krueger made them fashionable.) The killer goes along murdering motorists and blowing up bikers while taking time out to stalk some schoolteachers. In the great finale, the last surviving girl thoughtfully removes her clothes before letting the killer come after her. Most of the film is too dark to make out anything and has way too many scenes of the waves crashing on the shore for most viewers to take. The scene where Mitchell gets “psychic feelings” in the girl’s bedroom and hops in her bed sniffing her sheets and grunting obscenely is the highlight. His gonzo performance elevates the otherwise worthless film to watchable status. Too bad the girl’s parents get sick of him an hour into the movie and shoot him in the head. Bar none the greatest Cameron Mitchell flick of 1979.

AKA: Midnight Caller.

NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985) *** ½

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 5:19 PM
This is one of the stranger movies to come out of the 80’s (and that’s saying something!).

It’s an anthology movie that features a good cast, some terrible editing and some of the worst special effects I’ve ever seen. In short, it’s highly recommended!

The film begins on a train where some cheesy 80’s pop band plays. The breakdancing vocalist sings “Dance with me! Dance with me! Everybody’s got something to do, everybody but you!” Then God and Satan are seen sitting in a box car discussing the fates of some tormented souls.

They review “The Case of Harry Billings” in which John Phillip (Diabolik) Law is a man who gets pulled from a car wreck and stuck in a nut house where Richard (Night Court) Moll is the greasy assistant who mutilates women. Law is brainwashed into picking up women (one in a church!) for the mad female doctor’s experiments. In the end, Law decapitates a whining Moll and the doctor gets her just desserts. After God and Satan decide Law’s fate, Satan makes a play for the breakdancing band’s souls, but God says no way and calls their music “touching”!

Then God and Satan review “The Case of Gretta Connors” in which a slick dude picks up a chick at a carnival and turns her into his piano playing mistress. He also puts her into his homemade stag movies. (Who knew that carnies made such good porn stars?) When a young college student sees one of her movies, he falls in love with her and they start dating (!) When her pimp gets jealous he invites her man to his “castle” (it looks like something you’d put at the bottom of a fish tank) where they play bizarre variations of Russian Roulette. In one, they remain perfectly still while a badly animated stop motion bug flies around the room. It later goes out the window and attacks a couple making out. In the next they use electrical shocks instead of bullets and a Jimi Hendrix look alike says “Excuse me while I smoke!” and gets electrocuted. When the college kid tries to quit the so called “Death Wish Club”, the pimp holds him at gunpoint while they play the next game in which a wrecking ball is hovered above the members they are wrapped in sleeping bags. After the wrecking ball lands on some woman’s face, the story abruptly ends and train conductor says “They lived happily ever after”! HUH!?!

In the final and longest segment, “The Case of Claire Hanson”, Cameron (The Toolbox Murders) Mitchell is a detective tracking an ageless Nazi war criminal who is actually “The Devil’s Emissary”. He also wants an author (Richard Moll, from the first story but in a different role) who has just wrote a new book called, “God is Dead” to join Satan’s ranks. When Moll refuses, he gets turned into a flaming ragdoll and is impaled on a cross. There are also lots of bad Claymation monsters in this segment that are good for a few chuckles. In the end, the train carrying God and Satan (and the breakdancing band) crashes, but at the last minute God intervenes and the final shot of the movie is that of an obvious train model ascending to Heaven!

I’ve seen a lot of crazy “What the fuck?!?” endings, but that takes the cake.

This was actually three movies (Scream Your Head Off, Death Wish Club and Cataclysm) edited down to make a three part anthology. The only thing that really detracts from the fun is the editing. While the first tale moves right along, the second one ends abruptly and the third is overlong and slow in spots. The first runs a half an hour, the second only a scant 15 minutes and the third is almost 45 minutes. If all the stories were about the same amount of time, the film may have been better.

God stars as “Himself”, but it’s actually Ferdy (The Fearless Vampire Killers) Mayne. (Satan is billed as Lu Cifer!) The breakdancing singer, Byron Yordon is the son of screenwriter Phillip Yordon. No less than five directors are credited, but hey that’s five times the fun! Anthology movies kinda fell out of favor in the 80’s (Creepshow and Cat’s Eye are the obvious exceptions) but this would make a good double feature with The Offspring (AKA: From a Whisper to a Scream), another neglected 80’s horror anthology movie.

AKA: The Nightmare Never Ends.

MEMORIAL VALLEY MASSACRE (1988) * ½

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 5:00 PM
There were a lot of holiday themed horror movies in the 80’s, but this is the only Memorial Day murderer movie that I can think of. That’s really no reason to see it though. The late, great Cameron (Night Train to Terror) Mitchell stars as the greedy owner of a wilderness resort where a dog hating savage killer is still dwelling. After he murders an effeminate overweight motorcycle riding nerd, the vacationers band together to stop him. After a promising opening though the movie pretty much grinds to a halt.

When it’s revealed the feral killer is the camp director’s son, you won’t care. When we learn that the killer is murdering people who violate his “eco-system” you won’t care. When we find out that the camp director is “the best tracker there is” and has been searching for his son for “17 years” you won’t care, though you’ll probably wonder about the guy’s tracking credentials. When the killer hops in a bulldozer (if he’s been in the wild for 17 years how’d he learn to drive?) and mows down some kids you won’t care, but at least you may laugh in disbelief.

The blood and the gore is minimal and it takes about an hour for any sort of “massacring” to happen. William (Invasion of the Bee Girls) Smith co-stars as one of those gun nut survivalists types who gets blown up in his RV. Smith and Mitchell are good in their small roles, but the rest of the cast consists of stereotypical teens and dumbfuck adults.

AKA: Valley of Death.

MEDUSA (1973) *

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 5:00 PM
George Hamilton produced and starred in this dreadful flick as an American playboy in Greece. He dresses like a bad Elvis impersonator and gets incensed when his sister, Luciana (Thunderball) Paluzzi gets married (he’s really close to her if you know what I mean). He’s indebted to a slimy jive talking gangster played by Cameron (The Toolbox Murders) Mitchell who runs people over with a bulldozer so he tries to get his hands on an inheritance to pay him off. It’s a bland and boring drama, so don’t expect to see an evil woman with snakes in her hair turning men into stone or anything. The only one who doesn’t look half asleep is Mitchell, who never chewed a piece of scenery he didn’t like. Director Gordon Hessler also did KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.

JACK-O (1995) *

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 3:56 PM
Fred Olen (Fugitive Rage) Ray produced this totally worthless movie about a family curse involving Jack-O, a monster with a pumpkin head who is resurrected when some dumb teens disturb his grave. He kills his victims with a scythe and can only be killed by a wooden cross. The only parts worth mentioning are Linnea Quigley’s shower scene and an insane death by toaster. This movie’s padded with old footage of John Carradine, Cameron Mitchell and Brinke Stevens and has some really inept gore effects. Quigley was also in Ray’s classic Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.

HAUNTS (1977) **

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 3:26 PM
May Britt stars as Ingrid a Swedish (?) woman living in a small farming town who is stalked by a scissor wielding maniac. Ingrid’s got some skeletons in her closet too and may not be what she seems to be. After she is raped twice and the police (as well as her priest) are powerless to do anything, she and her uncle (Night Train to Terror’s Cameron Mitchell) kill the rapist and bury him. The film has it’s moments, but for every one or two effective scenes, there’s a hot steamy scene of Britt milking a goat. All of the performances are earnest, but most of the movie is too unpleasant and/or downbeat to be entertaining. Aldo (Black Samurai) Ray co-stars as the useless sheriff. Pino (Carrie) Donaggio provided the score.

FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM (1987) ****

  • Jul. 17th, 2007 at 3:00 PM
By the late 80’s anthology horror films were out of vogue but the handful that were released (Night Train to Terror, Deadtime Stories, etc.) were pretty entertaining. This is one of the best. It has a great cast, some bloody moments and a few good twists. The wraparound sequences feature Martine (Thunderball) Beswick, Susan (Angel) Tyrrell, and the legendary Vincent Price, who tells the dark history of the small southern town of Oldfield through four ghastly stories.

The first has a necrophiliac (Return of the Living Dead’s Clu Gulager) who gets a surprise nine months after he rapes his co-worker’s corpse when her zombie baby comes looking for it’s “daddy”. In the second tale, a criminal (Weekend at Bernie’s Terry Kiser) forces a simple swamp dweller into giving him the secret of eternal life, but of course there’s a price to pay. In the next story, a glass eating carnie tries to find happiness with a young girl, but their love is put to the test when the evil carnival owner/voodoo priestess (Rosalind Cash) makes all the glass, screws and razors he ate over the years rip out of him during a make out session. (Talk about coitus interruptus!) In the final tale, Cameron Mitchell (also in Night Train to Terror) stars as a Union soldier during the Civil War who gets captured by some cannibalistic Confederate kiddies who like to play “Pin the Arm on the Torso”.

Director Jeff (Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3) Burr lets the tension build slowly and manages to give each tale a satisfying payoff. The seasoned cast (especially Price, Gulager and Mitchell) really sell it and there are a few memorable scares. Producer Darin Scott also produced the equally fun horror anthology movie, Tales from the Hood.

AKA: The Offspring.

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