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FAIR GAME (1995) ** ½

William Baldwin is a cop who has to protect divorce lawyer Cindy Crawford from getting killed by a gang of roving, well-informed thugs led by Steven Berkoff.  Turns out they’re a bunch of former KGB agents who want Cindy dead because she won custody of a boat for one of her clients.  Or something.  It doesn’t matter.  All you need to know is that Cindy gets topless in this one.  That’s all the plot the movie needed.

 

Fair Game was taken from the same source novel as Cobra.  And while it’s nowhere near the movie Cobra was (and honesty, what film could be?), it’s not bad.  At least the film acknowledges this in the scene where one of Baldwin’s cop cronies calls him “Sly”.

 

The critics hated this movie when it first came out and it bombed at the box office too, so it pretty much killed Cindy Crawford’s potential movie career.  She’s decent in it.  She doesn’t embarrass herself like she did in those Charlie commercials with Little Richard.  You’ve seen plenty worse performances by other actresses in similar roles; that’s for sure.  Plus, you get to see her perfect tits, so I’m not complaining.

 

Baldwin is a solid action lead.  He’s believable as a cop, yet he lacks the machoness needed to sustain an action hero career.  It helps that he had a great cast of character actors backing him up.  I mean if you need a KGB bad guy for your movie, Steven Berkoff is always your best bet.  We also get Christopher McDonald (constantly yelling police captain), Dan Hedaya (scumbag lawyer), Salma Hayek (jealous ex-girlfriend), and Jenette Goldstein (villain’s right hand woman) too.

 

Fair Game is a borderline braindead movie but that doesn’t mean you should pull the plug on it.  Stuff blows up, catches on fire, and people get shot all to Hell.  Plus, the sex scene between Cindy and William is pretty hilarious.  There’s this one part where she reaches into his pants and pulls out his… gun.  This scene’s also great because again; you get to see Cindy’s perfect tits.

 

Although the film is mostly enjoyable, it never really cuts loose and kicks it up a notch.  It also suffers from excessive repetitiveness.  The last half of the movie is nothing more than scene after scene of Baldwin and Crawford narrowly avoiding death or outrunning fireballs, and it just kinda gets tiresome after awhile.  I mean Berkoff and Co. fail so many times to kill them you start thinking that Baldwin isn’t such a great cop after all; it’s just that the villains he’s up against are woefully inept.

 

But let’s face it, the only reason Fair Game exists is to see Cindy Crawford’s perfect tits.  That’s a pretty good reason to exist if you ask me.  Other than that, Fair Game is OK.

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