John Travolta has the uncanny ability to star in unforgettable classics or undisputed shit. There’s usually no in between. But no matter if he’s in the midst of mega-stardom or in the depths of unfathomable career lows, he’s always entertaining to watch. For me, any Travolta movie is automatically worth seeing (even if it is Battlefield: Earth), which is one surefire qualifier to be a Legend of the Silver Screen.

Our first Travolta film is…

THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (2009) **

Denzel Washington stars in his 1,417th Tony Scott movie. It’s a remake of that old Walter Matthau flick. The only thing that’s really different about it is that this time, instead of having Robert Shaw as the villain; we get John Travolta. That and it’s full of Scott’s patented annoying camerawork, washed out color scheme, gratuitous slow motion, and ADD editing.

You know, Tony Scott has a lifetime pass from me because of Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Last Boy Scout, and True Romance. I mean it’s pretty hard to argue with a resume like that. Lately though, he’s kinda fallen into wretched excess. The Taking of Pelham 123 is no exception. It’s a competent (yet totally unnecessary) remake that’s more of a hollow excuse for Scott’s cinematic gymnastics than anything else.

The movie boils down to several confrontations that happen over a CB radio. Travolta takes a subway car hostage and calls into the station and tells Denzel he’s going to start capping passengers if he doesn’t get some money. Travolta blusters, Washington tries to keep a cool head. This scenario is repeated several times. Whenever the movie bogs down with two people talking over the radio, it cuts away to the race to get the money to the station. This mostly involves cars crashing and shit. None of it is especially involving. And once Washington got out of his little booth to take down Travolta, whatever the tension the movie had managed to build up to that point quickly dissipated.

If Denzel had been using a phone to talk to Travolta, I’d be able to accuse him of literally phoning his performance in. He’s pretty bland in this and makes for a totally unremarkable hero. Washington’s performance particularly pales in comparison with Matthau’s portrayal in the original.

Travolta on the other hand is pretty good. With his receding hairline and Fu Manchu moustache, Travolta is 100% in Whimsical Villain Mode. If you’re a fan of his antics in Broken Arrow and From Paris with Love, you should be able to appreciate him in this.

Notice I said “appreciate”; not “enjoy”. While Travolta gives it all he’s got, the script ultimately lets him down. Sure, he has a couple of monologues about Lithuanian ass models and shitting dogs, but it never feels like an organic part of his character. It’s just showy dialogue for the sake of showy dialogue. I did like the way he often punctuated his sentences with “motherfucker” though. (Sample line: “Lick my bum hole, motherfucker!”)

Next we have…

TWO OF A KIND (1983) *

God (the voice of Gene Hackman) grows tired of mankind, so he’s going to pull another one of those Noah numbers and wipe us humans off the map. Four angels convince him to spare humanity if one idiot bank robber (John Travolta) can fall in love with the teller who stole his money (Olivia Netwon-John). Naturally, the Devil (Oliver Reed) has got to meddle in their affairs and the angels go down to Earth to intervene to ensure that mankind will survive.

You know it’s bad when halfway through the movie you start rooting for the end of the world.

Written and directed by John (Two Days in the Valley) Herzfeld, Two of a Kind is a Pain Fest of epic proportions. I mean Travolta has starred in some bad movies in his time, but this is among his worst. We’re talking Battlefield: Earth bad here, people.

You can’t really fault the performances of the two stars. They try in vain to breathe life into this thin third rate material, which feels more like a screwball comedy from the 40’s than something made in the 80’s. Both Travolta and ONJ have chemistry together, but not much of it matters because the flick more or less crumbles under the weight of all that angel bullshit. Besides, if you really want to see them together; you don’t have to subject yourself to this crap. You can always watch Grease instead.

There is one funny scene where Olivia’s taking acting lessons, but the bulk of the movie is nothing more than a collection of dumb gags that fall flat on their face before they reach their obvious punchline. The only fun comes from Oliver Reed’s hammy performance as the Devil. And the Ghostbuster fan in me enjoyed seeing Ernie Hudson (the same year as Spacehunter) in a small role as a cop. Other than that; Two of a Kind is Number Two in my book.

AKA: Pair of Jokers. AKA: Twist of Fate.

And our final Travolta flick is…

MOMENT BY MOMENT (1978) * ½

Producer Robert Stigwood struck box office gold with star John Travolta in the films Saturday Night Fever and Grease so he thought the third time’s the charm, right? As it turned out, the Stigwood produced Moment by Moment was a big time dud. In fact, it was one of the biggest bombs in Travolta’s career, which is littered with box office bombs. The fact that Travolta’s career has been able to recover from so many flops is just further proof he’s a Legend of the Silver Screen.

Basically, this movie is all about how a prudish unhappily married woman played by Lily Tomlin falls in love with a young beach bum named “Strip” (Travolta).

Okay, right away you’re gonna be thinking that this is going to be all kinds of Bad Movie Jackpot once you hear that Travolta’s name is Strip. Unfortunately Moment by Moment is neither the laugh out loud cult item you’d hope it to be (Mystery Science Theater once tried to acquire the rights to it), nor is it mind-numbingly awful either. The problem is that the film is essentially a filmed two character play filled with lots of gaudy exposition and even more make-up/break-up bullshit. (MST would’ve had trouble riffing on it anyway as it’s essentially nothing but two people talking for 104 minutes.)

Most of Moment by Moment revolves around Travolta coming onto Tomlin. Then she blows him off and when he walks away dejected, she looks at him yearningly. This gets old after a while. Once their love affair is finally consummated, things pick up, but the third act meanders so much that you ultimately don’t care if they ever make a go of it as a couple.

Another problem with the movie is the casting of Lily Tomlin. When you think of a romantic leading lady you don’t immediately think of Lily Tomlin. She’s basically a cold fish throughout the flick. And while Travolta does what he can, there is just no chemistry between them. Furthermore, you can never really tell what they see in each other. At least the flick has glimpses of genuine emotion, which is a lot more than I can say about Two of a Kind.

It may seem like I’m ragging on Travolta by choosing three of his lesser films to review for his Legends post. Nothing can be further from the truth, because I truly do dig the dude. It’s just that some of his misfires are more fun to write about than his hits. I mean if I didn’t like Travolta, why would I have his action figure prominently displayed in my house?



If you can’t get enough Travolta (and frankly who can’t), you’ll be happy to know that he’ll appear in one of the films starring next week’s Legends of the Silver Screen, Samuel L. Jackson.