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CYBER NINJA (1988) **

Cyber Ninja is kind of like a Ninja version of Star Wars. And by that I mean, it starts out with a written prologue (“Once upon a time in the distant future…”) and features a kidnapped Princess. And that’s about where the similarities end.

So this Cyber Ninja guy is a prototypical bio-weapon for the bad guys. He escapes and goes around the countryside kicking a bunch of ass. When the villains kidnap a princess, Cyber Ninja teams up with the resistance to rescue her; not to mention get a little payback on his creators.

Cyber Ninja is pretty weird throughout, but it’s not exactly what I would call entertaining. There is no shortage of WTF moments in this film. Throughout the 71 minute running time we get to see 1) Two houses turn into Transformer type robots and fight 2) Soldiers fighting a giant tank 3) “Mechanized Ninjas” running around with their arms outstretched like they’re mimicking an airplane taking off and 4) A stupid looking villain that looks like a refugee from a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episode. In fact, that’s what a lot of the flick feels like, an overlong Power Ranger episode. So if that’s your kind of thing, enjoy.

The flick is sorta fun whenever the Cyber Ninja is doing his thing. I particularly liked the scenes where he ran real fast and the special effect was nothing more than him standing still in front of a green screen while the background moved rapidly behind him. And some of the other effects weren’t too bad. There were some cool electricity effects that kinda resembled a poor man’s version of Tron.

Overall, Cyber Ninja is watchable and mercifully short, but it’s far too uneven to be labeled a good time. Most of the movie is just too stupid for words; and I don’t mean that in a good way. Thankfully, some of the dialogue is priceless. My favorite line came from the villain when he apologized to his Emperor-ish superior: “Dark overlord… I only wanted to please you by creating the perfect mechanical Ninja and to present it to you on your birthday tomorrow!”

AKA: Mirai Ninja. AKA: Robo Ninja. AKA: Future Ninja. AKA: Warlord.


( 4 comments — Comment )
Jan. 21st, 2012 02:35 pm (UTC)
I have a feeling I'll still watch this one, despite your warnings. The title alone makes it too hard to pass up.
Jan. 21st, 2012 03:56 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't stop you from checking it out. I think if you have a higher tolerance for Power Rangers type shenanigans, you'll enjoy it.
Jan. 21st, 2012 04:03 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I watch Power Rangers with my nephew on Netflix Watch Instantly sometimes, so if you asked them and their algorithm, they'd say I love Power Rangers!
Jan. 21st, 2012 04:09 pm (UTC)
Then by all means, check it out!
( 4 comments — Comment )


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