The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

FLESH GORDON (1974) ** ½

It is my hope that Skinamax-A-Palooza will be a showcase for all facets of Skinamax movies. Smutty comedies from the 00’s, artsy movies from the 90’s, teen comedies of the 80’s, and softcore sex spoofs of the 70’s; all will hopefully be discussed this month. Of all the softcore sex spoofs of the 70’s, Flesh Gordon is probably the most famous.

Flesh Gordon is a pretty faithful and respectful sexed-up parody of Flash Gordon. It has a decent sized budget, some great effects, and even a handful of laughs. None of this exactly disguises the fact that the flick isn’t titillating, but at least all involved were actually trying to make a “real” movie. You can tell the filmmakers really loved what they were doing because of the opening pre-title crawl in which they profess their love for the superheroes of the 30’s.

In fact, it’s easy to tell that more time was spent on the sets, costumes, and effects than on the sex scenes (the sex almost seems like an afterthought).

Sex rays from outer space turn everyone on Earth into horny sex maniacs. Flesh, Dale and Dr. Jerkoff go to Planet Porno to investigate. There, they learn that Emperor Wang is the one responsible and they set out to stop him.

For a Flash Gordon fan, this movie is a lot of fun as some scenes closely copy the old serials. There’s even a cliffhanger midway through the movie! And the special effects are pretty great; featuring early work from everyone from Rick Baker to David Allen. Heck, some of the effects in this flick are better than you’d see in a “legitimate” movie from the same era.

From a technical level, Flesh Gordon is a blast, but unfortunately, none of the sex scenes are very good. We get six sex scenes in all: one Guy on Girl scene, one Girl on Girl scene, one Two Guys on One Girl scene, and three Orgy scenes. Since the flick clocks in at about 90 minutes, that means we only get a sex scene about every 15 minutes. I also have to take points off for the fact that in most of the orgy scenes the camerawork is so bad that it’s hard to tell what’s going on.

The cast is sort of interesting. Jason Williams, who plays Flesh isn’t bad. He’d later go on to star in the much better Cheerleaders Wild Weekend. We also get to see 70’s sex starlets Candy Samples and Rene Bond in small roles as well. Probably the funniest bit of casting though involves the pre-Poltergeist Craig T. Nelson providing the voice for one of the monsters.

As you can see, not all of it works, yet Flesh Gordon remains mildly amusing. If anything, watch it for the cool sets and effects. Just don’t expect to get turned on by it or anything. (I will say it’s a lot better than those This Ain’t… XXX Parodies I’ve seen.)

Producer Bill Osco later went on to produce the X-rated version of Alice in Wonderland (which at least had the benefit of some hardcore footage).

Emperor Wang’s henchman gets the best line when he says, “Your ass-holiness!”

Tags: comedy, f, sci-fi, skinamax
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