The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

STAR WARS: EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE 3-D (1999/2011/2012) ****

Since around the dawning of the new millennium, bashing The Phantom Menace has become something of a national pastime among internet trolls. I’ll never understand why it’s become fashionable to hate this movie. I mean what is there to hate exactly? Why would people get upset just because a few of Jar Jar’s antics fall flat? Who knows? All I know is that the haters can suck it. This movie’s awesome. Here’s why:

The way the lightsabers beam in the dioxin fog.

The badass way Qui-Gon holsters his lightsaber.

Obi-Wan’s smug delivery of lines like, “You were right about one thing… the negotiations were short” and “Why do I have the feeling we’ve picked up another pathetic life form”.

The part where Lord Sidious says, “Not for the Sith!” and Darth Maul appears over his shoulder.

The part where R2-D2 saves Queen Amidala’s ship.

The scene where we learn Anakin built C-3PO.

The initial meeting of C-3PO and R2-D2.

The little pep talk Qui-Gon gives Anakin before the race.


The scene where some Sand People try to fuck with the pod racers.

The initial meeting of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

The weaseling way Palpatine tricks Amidala into trusting him.

The scene where an endless amount of Battle Droids come out of the carrier.

The scene where the doors open and Darth Maul is standing there.

The lightsaber duel between Darth Maul, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan.

The little head fake Obi-Wan gives Maul before Qui-Gon lunges at him.

The way Maul pulls his lightsaber out of Qui-Gon.

The non-stop lightsaber action once Obi-Wan comes out of the hallway.

The way Maul fucks with Obi-Wan while he’s hanging off the ledge.

The way Maul is cut in half.

The way one of Qui-Gon’s feet burns faster than the other on his funeral pyre.

Seeing all these moments again on the big screen made the Star Wars fan in me geek out all over again. If I had to pick a favorite moment though, I’d have to say it was R2-D2’s first scene where he saves the ship. The way he looks at the camera and beeps, well… it just gets me.

Look, I’m not here to debate the merits of this movie. I’m just here to tell you why I love it and that’s that. I’m too old (read: mature) to start a flame war over The Phantom Menace. For one thing, that’s SOOOOOO 1999. For another, if I can respect your unbridled hatred towards this movie; then you should be able to respect my love for it. Let’s agree to disagree.

As for the 3-D conversion… it’s OK. There are some good 3-D moments early on, and the pod race looks stunning, but after that they kind of forget about the 3-D in the last 45 minutes or so. Some of the vistas look cool, especially during the Battle of Naboo, however the eye-popping gimmicks are relatively low key.

We do get:

• 3-D Battle Droids.

• 3-D Jar Jar.

• 3-D Watto.

• 3-D Flying Jar Jar tongue.

• 3-D Probe droids.

• 3-D Magnet thingie Anakin uses the fix his pod racer.

• 3-D Ric Olie. (Just kidding.)

• 3-D Obi-Wan finger pointing.

If you hate The Phantom Menace, by all means stay home and watch Empire again. If you’re like me and you dig the prequels, then you shouldn’t miss your chance to see it on the big screen again. You’ll be glad you did.

Special Note: I have been slowly (emphasis on slowly) going through the Star Wars Blu-Rays and I eventually hope to do a big long write-up on them sometime in the near future.

Tags: action, in 3-d, s, samuel l. jackson, sci-fi, sequel, star wars series
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