The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (FULL SEQUENCE) (2011) NO STARS

The original Human Centipede was kinda like this generation’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre as it’s nowhere near as disgusting as it’s reputed to be. It’s also technically better made than many give it credit for as the film features some truly harrowing sequences. If you put off seeing Human Centipede 1 for fear it was some sort of torture porn geek show; you were really missing out. Part 2 on the other hand is the same exact pointless gross out freak parade you’d imagine the original to be.

Martin (Laurence R. Harvey) is this fat parking garage attendant who becomes obsessed with watching The Human Centipede at work. Before long, he’s shanghaiing helpless victims (including the star of the first film, Ashlynn Yennie, playing herself) and escorting them to an abandoned warehouse where he strips them down, binds them, and recreates the experiment from the first film. (Except this time he’s got twelve people instead of three.) Since he isn’t a doctor like the nut in the first movie, his tools are crude and his methods are even cruder. For example, he doesn’t surgically connect his victims’ mouths to their anuses. He uses a staple gun and duct tape. When some of the members of the centipede escape, Martin’s plans start literally coming apart at the seams.

Human Centipede Numero Uno was a deftly crafted and dare I say, suspenseful horror movie. This one has no such luxuries. There is no style or skill at work here; just a bunch of gross out gratuitousness for the sake of gross out gratuitousness.

It would be one thing if the film was made on the cheap by an entirely different crew that were just in it to make a buck with a lame cash-in sequel. However, HC 2 was written and directed by the same guy who did the original, Tom Six. Six must’ve made the conscious decision to look at everything he did right with the first film… and then do the exact opposite here. Instead of lush color photography and elegantly framed compositions, we get grubby black and white footage that almost anyone could’ve shot. Instead of a carefully measured pace, this film lumbers along clumsily. And instead of restraint and classiness; Six gives us tastelessness and vulgar overkill.

I was almost tempted to give the film ½ * just because it DOES deliver on the gore. We get sandpaper masturbation, crowbar bashing, teeth being hammered out, knee slashing, ass hacking, barb wire rape, and lots of disgusting poopiness once the centipede members become unstitched from their involuntary surgical rim job. BUUUUUUUUTTTTT (and no, I’m not trying to make a pun here), the ending is so infuriating that I find it hard to give this movie the faintest bit of praise.

About that ending. In the end (Spoiler… fuck it… this is just a Warning in general… to stay away from this movie) after Martin has committed all this disgustingness, we learn it was… all a daydream! Really? The movie puts us through the ringer and then it doesn’t even have balls to at least make all the nauseating depravity real? After all that, it can’t even be bothered to hold itself accountable. It’s like it’s trying to let itself off the hook by claiming every disgusting thing we just saw for the last 89 minutes is just be some made up bullshit in some dude’s mind.

Pardon the pun, but what a line of shit.

Tags: h, horror, sequel
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