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ANGELFIST (1993) ***

Angelfist stars Cat Sassoon, who of course is the daughter of hairspray mogul Vidal Sassoon. There must have been a lot of pressure on Cat during the making of this movie. After all, if she don’t look good, he don’t look good. But if this film is any evidence, Vidal must not be looking that good.

Yes, it’s true. Cat Sassoon is not much of a looker. But to be fair, the title only claims she has the fist of an angel; not the face of one.

The plot of Angelfist is almost exactly the same as Angel of Destruction, Firecracker, and TNT Jackson. And when I say “plot”, I don’t mean that Cat is out to avenge the death of a sibling. I mean this movie has topless kickboxing in it.

I guess the question we have to ask is: Is it as good as Angel of Destruction? No. But it does have some damn fine topless kickboxing. While the scene in question isn’t quite as elaborate as the one in Angel of Destruction, it deserves special mention because it happens just after Cat gets out of the shower, so she’s nice n’ slippery during the fight.

And while I admit that Cat isn’t much above the chin, she does have a body on her. And she’s not afraid to show it either. She gets naked in the shower, in sex scenes, and of course during the topless kickboxing fight.

I know, I keep bringing the topless kickboxing up. That’s mostly because it’s the best thing the movie has going for it. Look, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Angelfist is a “good” movie, but I certainly had a lot of fun with it. In fact, me and my wife had a blast playing MST with it. (I often channeled Bob Seger when doing my own version of Katmandu: “Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Cat Sassoon!”)

The first half of the film is frequently unintentionally hilarious. Once it finally finds its footing, Angelfist settles down and becomes a fairly decent action flick. I mean it’s no Expendables 2 or anything, but whenever things threaten to slow down, a chick will get into a fight or get naked (or both); so it’s all good. (I do have to admit that the final fight in the “Kubate” tournament is a bit lackluster though.)

Producer Roger Corman must’ve known that Cat Sassoon's looks weren’t up to snuff. Why else would he hire the ultra-hot Melissa Moore in a superfluous role as another kickboxing babe who gets captured by the bad guys? Moore, who was also memorable in Samurai Cop, has a good fight scene in an ice factory where she gets attacked by a guy wielding a buzzsaw. She also has plenty of nude scenes too. In fact, it kinda sucks that Moore and Sassoon were on parallel plot courses. It would’ve been nice to see them team up and fighting side by side.

If anything, Angelfist serves as a message to all would-be photojournalists out there: Whenever you take invaluable pictures of a political assassination in a foreign country, always go immediately to the American embassy; don’t knock off for some kickboxing first.

AKA: Kickangels.


( 4 comments — Comment )
Sep. 7th, 2012 12:44 pm (UTC)
Nice review!

Found this at our local Goodwill a few weeks ago, will be MST'ing soon with our buddies. Happy this is not that bad too. Also got to love topless kickboxing.
Sep. 7th, 2012 05:15 pm (UTC)
I'd love to see you review this one. It's right up your alley.
Sep. 28th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
Just watched it a couple days ago. It was a lot of silly fun! Review coming soon.
Oct. 1st, 2012 09:56 pm (UTC)
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this mini-masterpiece!
( 4 comments — Comment )


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