The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

BLOODY MOVIE (1987) ** ½

Lance Hayward is a reclusive old timey movie actor. When his mansion is sold off, a bunch of horny teens think it’s a good idea to go and check out his rundown estate. Pretty soon, people start dying at the hands of a murderer dressed up as characters from Hayward’s films.

I’m not here to proclaim that Bloody Movie is a good film. I am just here to give you the facts. The facts are these:

• John Ireland, Cameron Mitchell, The Skipper, Aldo Ray, and Grizzly Adams are in this movie.

• 80’s porn star Jamie Summers is in this movie and gets naked in the bathtub for a sex scene.

• 80’s scream queen Michelle Bauer is in this movie as a hot biker chick who in one scene runs around completely naked for no reason whatsoever.

• The gore highlights include a guy being ripped in half, a spear to the stomach, a hook to the head, a decapitation, a chick falling onto a bed of spikes, hands chopped off, and a guy being impaled on a white picket fence.

• There is not necessarily a whole lot of bullshit in between the death scenes.

In fact, the 80’s slasher fan in me probably would’ve given it Three Stars had it not been that every time someone gets killed, there’s a needless montage of clips of Hayward’s films, posters, and lobby cards interspersed with the murder. So, I had to take points off for that. But still, if you want to see lots of character actors getting killed off and 80’s porn stars and scream queens getting naked, you really can’t go wrong with Bloody Movie.

AKA: Terror Night.

Tags: b, cameron mitchell, horror

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