The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

JUNGLE VIRGIN FORCE (1983) *** ½

This crazy ass Indonesian flick is pretty incredible and will probably make you doubt your sanity more than once. The first hour constitutes this as some kind of manic classic. Although the film can’t sustain that level of energy and sheer WTF? momentum, it’s still entertaining as all get out and is highly recommended.

In the action packed opening, Jelita, a “mysterious jungle woman” protects the natives of her Indonesian jungle home by swinging on vines and yelling like Tarzan and battling alligators. When the tribe tries to accept her, the “Holy Man” objects and shoots lightning through one of the native bimbos. Then all hell breaks loose. There’s a big fight and several people get kung fued (that’s right, this primitive jungle tribe can throw down like Bruce Lee) and lots of people get run through with arrows and spears. The tribesmen try to kill Jelita, and when the Queen objects, she’s thrown off a cliff.

Meanwhile back in “civilization”, a professor planning an exploration into the same jungle repeatedly tells his team not to tell anyone about their trip. Of course somebody talks, and some fortune hunters get wind of it and shoot the professor and try to kung fu their hands on their map. The would-be explorers get the drop on them and escape, but the fortune hunters catch up to them and drive a car through their house! There’s more kung fu followed by another car chase and a very satisfactory car explosion. The explorers hop the next plane and head into the jungle, where the Holy Man has now proclaimed himself king and rewards his best fighter by magically making horns grow out of the dude’s head!

I am not making this up.

The expedition continues into the jungle with the help of a big game hunter named Bunyon, while the fortune hunters and the Holy Man’s tribe follow close behind. When one of the female explorers falls into the river, the tribe captures her, hang her upside down and decapitate her. They then kidnap several of the treasure hunters and the anthropology party and take them back to the cave and tie them to “torture poles”. The Holy Man zaps one of the dudes with electricity from his fingers which turns him into a human filet mignon and then he becomes a cannibal free for all! The tribe also plans a baby sacrifice, but when one tribe woman objects, the Holy Man melts her! Jelita sneaks in and rescues the surviving people from the cave of the Holy Man. When Bunyon is fatally wounded the Deus Ex Machina sets in, he realizes that Jelita is actually his long lost daughter! Unfortunately at this point the film’s breakneck pace gets bogged down and gets all soap operay as most of the characters fight over who loves who, and argues about the treasure.

When the team finally goes back to the cave to get the treasure, the Holy Man attacks and uses his powers to hurl stalagmites into people’s abdomens. When they finally do find the treasure one guy proclaims: “The world is my oyster! I’m the richest man in human history! MONEY!” In the finale, the Queen returns and has a Jedi power battle with the Holy Man which causes the cave to crumble and a baking soda volcano to erupt. This leaves Jelita and the last surviving male alone to fall in love and go back to civilization.

This nutty movie also features death by cannibal trap, tribal women aerobicizing, and voodoo dolls. The best line of dialogue occurs when one of the explorers can’t stand a native’s loincloth and tells him, “Cover that thing up! Haven’t’ you heard of evolution?” The overblown erratic music is also great.
Tags: cannibal, horror, j, kung fu
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