The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

THE CANYONS (2013) ** ½

The story of the drama going on behind the scenes of The Canyons is more interesting than the film itself. The off screen trials and tribulations of the flick are well documented, so you really don’t need me to tell you all about it. Besides, at the end of the day, a movie lives and dies by its own merits and not the backstage craziness surrounding its creation.

Porn star James Deen stars as a movie producer who has an open relationship with his girlfriend, played by Lindsay Lohan. She’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend though and meets with him in secret. Deen finds out about it and has them followed. The more Deen learns about Lohan’s affairs, the more insane he gets. It all ends in sex, betrayal, blackmail, and murder.

The Canyons is an interesting, if unsuccessful collaboration between director Paul Schrader and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis. Like most of Ellis’ characters, everyone in The Canyons is rich, bisexual, and vapid. And as a fan of Ellis, that’s all right by me. However, the plot is just about as vapid as the characters. (I did like how most of the characters are always on their cell phone though.)

The film often resembles a soap opera, with occasional sex scenes, orgies, and explicit dick-tugging. Imagine watching an episode of The Hills (there are a lot of static two-shot dialogue scenes) spliced with Skinamax. That’s not exactly the worst thing in my book. It’s just a shame that there really isn’t much to the movie. And even when the plot thickens in the last reel, it’s nothing that really grabs you.

If anything, The Canyons exists to show you Lindsay Lohan naked. And she has some pretty good nude scenes too. Her performance isn’t that bad either. And Deen proves that he might have a decent career ahead of him if he ever wants to jump into the mainstream.

Tags: c, drama

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