The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE 7TH ANNUAL VIDEO VACUUM AWARDS: AND THE WINNERS ARE…

Okay folks, it’s time for the 7th Annual Video Vacuum Awards. We had a highly competitive field this year which yielded several tight races in various categories. In the seven years of holding this award ceremony, I can honestly say these were some of the toughest decisions I’ve made in the history of the event.
But enough of my yacking, let’s boogie:

BEST DIALOGUE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

ESCAPE PLAN for “YOU HIT LIKE A VEGETARIAN!”
JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA for “THEY USED TO CALL ME JIZZY GILLESPIE!”
KICK-ASS 2 for “I’M GOING TO WIPE MY ASS WITH YOUR FACE!”
MONSTERS UNIVERSITY for “I HAVE AN EXTRA TOE… NOT WITH ME, OF COURSE!”
MOVIE 43 for “IT’S LIKE A CORNFIELD DOWN HERE. I KEEP EXPECTING SHOELESS JOE JACKSON TO WALK OUT!”

AND THE WINNER IS…

KICK-ASS 2 for “I’M GOING TO WIPE MY ASS WITH YOUR FACE!”

BEST SCENE I COULD NOT MAKE UP

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

THE MUTANT CABBAGE PATCH RAPE SCENE from THE LORDS OF SALEM
MACHETE IN SPACE from MACHETE KILLS
THE DUCK RAPE from RETURN TO NUKE ‘EM HIGH VOL. 1
THE QUAALUDE SCENE from THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
AMERICA DROPPING THE A-BOMB ON THE WOLVERINE in THE WOLVERINE

AND THE WINNER IS…

THE QUAALUDE SCENE from THE WOLF OF WALL STREET!

BEST 3-D EFFECT

AND THE NOMINESS ARE…

3-D NINJAS in G.I. JOE: RETALIATION
3-D SEVERED HEAD in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG
3-D ARROW in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG
3-D CHAINSAW (HURTLED TOWARD THE SCREEN) in TEXAS CHAINSAW 3-D
3-D CHAINSAW (SLOWLY PUSHED TOWARD THE SCREEN) in TEXAS CHAINSAW 3-D

AND THE WINNER IS…

3-D SEVERED HEAD in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG!

BEST DEATH

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

A CHICK CHAINSAWED IN HALF LENGTHWISE in EVIL DEAD
THE BALLS IN THE VISE SCENE in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2
THE LAWNMOWER DEATH in KICK-ASS 2
THE GUTS IN THE HELICOPTER BLADES in MACHETE KILLS
DEATH BY BLENDER in YOU’RE NEXT

AND THE WINNER IS…

THE GUTS IN THE HELICOPTER BLADES in MACHETE KILLS!

BEST FIGHT SCENE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

NINJA ZIPLINE JUBILEE in G.I. JOE: RETALIATION
ROCKY VS. RAGING BULL in GRUDGE MATCH
THE BARREL SEQUENCE in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG
MOTHER RUSSIA VS. TEN COPS in KICK-ASS 2
SUPERMAN’S SMACKDOWN OF GENERAL ZOD IN THE CORNFIELD in MAN OF STEEL

AND THE WINNER IS…

THE BARREL SEQUENCE in THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

BEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

BULLET TO THE HEAD
IRON MAN 3
KICK-ASS 2
MAN OF STEEL
THE WOLVERINE

AND THE WINNER IS…

MAN OF STEEL!

BEST SEQUEL

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

FURIOUS 6
G.I. JOE: RETALIATION
IRON MAN 3
KICK-ASS 2
MACHETE KILLS

AND THE WINNER IS… MACHETE KILLS!

BEST COMEDY

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA
GRUDGE MATCH
MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
THIS IS THE END
THE WORLD’S END

AND THE WINNER IS…

THE WORLD’S END!

BEST MOVIE STARRING AN EXPENDABLE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

ESCAPE PLAN
G.I. JOE: RETALIATION
GRUDGE MATCH
HOMEFRONT
PARKER

AND THE WINNER IS…

ESCAPE PLAN!

BEST ACTION MOVIE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

ESCAPE PLAN
FURIOUS 6
IRON MAN 3
MACHETE KILLS
MAN OF STEEL

AND THE WINNER IS…

MACHETE KILLS!

BEST HORROR MOVIE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

CARRIE
EVIL DEAD
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2
CURSE OF CHUCKY
YOU’RE NEXT

AND THE WINNER IS…

YOU’RE NEXT!

BREAST ACTRESS

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

MELISSA JACOBS in SEXY WIVES SINDROME
KYLEE NASH in SEXY WIVES SINDROME
CHRISTINE NGUYEN in SEXY WIVES SINDROME
MARGOT ROBBIE in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
SHERI MOON ZOMBIE in THE LORDS OF SALEM

AND THE WINNER IS…

MARGOT ROBBIE in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET!

BEST ACTRESS

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

ALEXANDRA DADDARIO in TEXAS CHAINSAW 3-D
GRETA GERWIG in FRANCES HA
JULIANNE MOORE in CARRIE
CHLOE GRACE MORETZ in KICK-ASS 2
KATEE SACKHOFF in RIDDICK

AND THE WINNER IS…

JULIANNE MOORE in CARRIE!

BEST ACTOR

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

JIM CAVIEZEL in ESCAPE PLAN
LEONARDO DICAPRIO in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
CARLOS ESTEVEZ in MACHETE KILLS
TOM HIDDLESTON in THOR: THE DARK WORLD
THE ROCK in FURIOUS 6

AND THE WINNER IS…

CARLOS ESTEVEZ in MACHETE KILLS!

BEST DIRECTOR

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

JUSTIN LIN for FURIOUS 6
ROBERT RODRIGUEZ for MACHETE KILLS
MARTIN SCORSESE for THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
ZACK SNYDER for MAN OF STEEL
JEFF WADLOW for KICK-ASS 2

AND THE WINNER IS…

ROBERT RODRIGUEZ for MACHETE KILLS!

WORST MOVIE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

BLUE JASMINE
ONLY GOD FORGIVES
THE PURGE
SCARY MOVIE 5
SPRING BREAKERS

AND THE LOSER IS…

SPRING BREAKERS!

AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR…

BEST MOVIE

AND THE NOMINEES ARE…

ESCAPE PLAN
FURIOUS 6
MACHETE KILLS
MAN OF STEEL
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

AND THE WINNER IS…

MACHETE KILLS!

Machete Kills winds up being the big winner for the night with six wins. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Wolf of Wall Street are in second with two wins apiece. Thanks again folks for all the support you show me. See you all at the movies!

And just in case you’re wondering, here is a list of the films that have won the most Video Vacuum Awards:

1. Rambo, Piranha 3-D, and The Expendables 2 (7 awards each)
2. My Bloody Valentine 3-D and Machete Kills (6 awards each)
3. Grindhouse, Busty Cops Go Hawaiian, and Final Destination 5 (5 awards each)

Tags: 7th annual video vacuum awards
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