The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE BREASTFORD WIVES (2007) ** ½

Frankie Cullen and Glori-Anne Gilbert move to the small town of Breastford and immediately have sex. Pretty soon, they’re having sex with all the big-chested women in town. They eventually learn that the women are all sex-crazed robots under the control of the mayor.

The Breastford Wives is of course, director Jim Wynorski’s Skinamax version of The Stepford Wives. It’s low on the usual goofy jokes that you normally associate with Wynorski’s flicks, although there is a funny scene where Cullen bangs Monique Parent in the middle of the night and tells his wife he was busy having “a midnight snack”. And while the sex scenes are plentiful, they lack the unbridled fun that his best films have; the main exception being the scene where Cullen bangs Taylor Wayne on various pieces of gym equipment (even the rowing machine!).

But while The Breastford Wives won’t be mistaken for one of Wynorski’s best, it’s nevertheless a serviceable piece of Skinamax celluloid. It’s anchored by a pretty good female cast filled with both hardcore and softcore stars such as Taylor (On the Prowl 2) Wayne, Monique Parent, and Monica Sweetheart. Throughout the film’s 79 minute running time, we get no less than twelve sex scenes (that’s a sex scene every 6 ½ minutes or so). There are seven Guy on Girl scenes, three Girl on Girl on Girl scenes (including one scene in a bubble bath where they use their boobs to wash each other’s butts, and one scene in a hot tub), one Guy on Girl on Girl on Girl scene, and one Girl on Girl on Girl on Girl scene. And just because of the sheer number of sex scenes, The Breastford Wives almost skates by on sheer silicone alone.

Tags: b, jim wynorski, skinamax
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