The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

SEE NO EVIL (2006) *** ½

When producer Vince McMahon, the man who revolutionized professional wrestling with the WWE (formerly the WWF) and director Gregory Dark, the man who revolutionized porn with New Wave Hookers get together to make a horror movie, you know you’re in for something special.

WWE superstar Kane makes his screen debut as the hulking bald killer Jacob Goodnight (though no one actually says his name in the movie) who rips out the eyes of some teenagers in an abandoned hotel. Kane does a good job at doing exactly what the script calls for: be a hulking bald killer who rips out the eyes of some teenagers. Kane uses a hook and chain to capture the trash talking kids and uses his unhealthily groomed nails (ain’t this guy heard of Lamisil?) to pluck out their peepers.

The kids are all stupid and deserve to die, and since their characters are so dispensable, it’s not WHO dies, but HOW they die that matters. And boy do we have some nice kills.

Some have a generous helping of blood, but those that are lacking in the red stuff, make up for it with some ingenuity. Consider the girl who gets hung upside down only to have a random pack of hungry dogs chow down on her face. Or the crowd pleasing scene when the annoying blonde cunt gets her cell phone shoved down her throat. See No Evil also has one of the greatest, longest, most brutal villain deaths since Jason bought the farm in Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter.

Dark bathes the movie in creepy atmosphere and the art direction on the dingy dilapidated hotel is also excellent. The only thing I was irritated about is that the surprising lack of nudity. Come on, this is the guy who made Between the Cheeks here! Earns an extra half star for the excellent scene in which we get to see a dog piss into Kane’s empty eye socket up close and personally. (And considering that Freddy Krueger was brought back to life with dog urine in A Nightmare on Elm Street 4, this could be our set up for a sequel.)

Bottom line: The best professional wrestler murdering kids in an abandoned hotel movie EVER.
Tags: horror, s
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