The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE SILENCER (1992) *** ½

People complain that violence in movies is too much like video games. Well, this movie actually starts with video game credits! Granted they’re sub Super Nintendo graphics, but who cares?

Angelica (Lynette Walden) a sexy leather clad secret agent who makes La Femme Nikita look like a Girl Scout, has to assassinate five people connected to the “World Sex Market” where “helpless children are stripped of their innocence”. She uses an arcade as a front where a video game called “Silencer” is actually a secret spy computer that gives her the name of her next target. (Q would be envious.)

After a hit, Angelica likes to do it with lucky dudes and show off her enormous assets. After her first hit, she pulls some guy off the street and proceeds to bang him in the bathtub. For her next hit, Angelica dresses in drag to murder someone in a gun club. Afterwards she tries to get it on with a pool hustler, but when the condom machine is empty, she tells him, “No glove; no love!” Next, she kills Morton Downey, Jr. WITH A STRAWBERRY! Then she tries to kickbox another target to death, but her stalker ex-boyfriend/partner (The Hidden’s Chris Mulkey) finishes the job. For her last job, she becomes an extra for a movie (I didn’t know lethal highly trained killers belonged to SAG.) where she blows away an actor while shooting a movie. In the end her creepy ex confronts her and tells her he wants her to come home. She however doesn’t want to return to her abusive past, which leads to the best dialogue exchange in the movie. “You chained me to the radiator!”

He shrugs, “I loved you.”

Finally after all that heart to heart bullshit, he commits suicide before ascending to video game heaven.

The End.

I love it.

This movie combines men’s three favorite things, tits, guns and video games and it does it very well.

Walden is super hot and looks great in her nude scenes. She is also impressive in her action scenes as well (you try to kickbox in high heels). The scene in which she prepares a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a switchblade made me want to openly propose marriage to her. Lynette, look me up, I’m in the book, honey.

The film also makes one misty for the early 90’s leather and flannel wardrobes. All this and Morton Downey, Jr. too!

None of this changes the fact that her “silencer” sounds like a damn hand cannon!

It also loses points for the pointless subplot where Angelica helps a homeless girl start a new life, but hey, if you’ve always wanted to see Chris Mulkey recite thoughtful soliloquies into video arcade machines, this is your movie.
Tags: action, s
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