January 5th, 2008


The Indonesian people have never been known as the forerunners of modern cinema, but for my money any time that H. Tjut (Lady Terminator) Djalil gets behind the camera, it’s always worth a look. Djalil’s Mystics in Bali isn’t exactly what you would call a GOOD film, but it does have some of the craziest shit you’ve ever seen in a movie.

Basically a bimbo tourist in Bali wants to become a “Leak” (pronounced Lee-Ack), a power black magician. She gets nightly lessons from an old crone who looks like the love child of The Crypt Keeper and Yoda, and eventually she harnesses the mystic power of the Leak. But she doesn’t bargain on the witch putting a spell on her that causes her head to uproot itself from her neck and fly around (while her guts, lungs, and small intestine dangle in the wind) looking for sustenance in the form of unborn babies! Luckily her boyfriend gets his white magician uncle to have a Sword in the Stone inspired magic battle with the witch that involves her turning into a pig, growing to immense proportions and shooting electricity from her fingernails.

For 40 minutes, you’re going to think this is the STUPIDEST movie ever made as it’s just the bimbo and the witch haggling over the price of witchcraft lessons (Wouldn’t be easier to get the brochure from Sally Struthers?), but once the chick’s head detaches itself, flies in between the legs of a pregnant chick and sucks the baby from out of her womb, it’s sort of worth it.

The special effects are terrible, but you have to admit the organs hanging out of the flying head’s neck hole was an inspired touch. For the most part, Mystics in Bali is pretty wretched, but trust me, once you’ve seen a decapitated head flying around with it’s vital organs flailing around like a mobile, it can’t be UNSEEN. Besides where else are you going to see two chicks SLOWLY turn into snakes, a woman puking up rodents and two fiery free roaming meatballs inexplicably battle each other?

AKA: Leak. AKA: Balinese Mystic. AKA: Mistik.