DOCTOR VAMPIRE (1991) **
A Chinese doctor goes into a bar that happens to be a haven for vampires. He gets seduced by a sexy vampire chick who bites him on his crotch. Seemingly unfazed by her kinkiness, he goes back to his job as if nothing has happened. Pretty soon, he stops eating sushi, starts wearing sunglasses and begins salivating like Pavlov’s dog while in the operating room. By the time he starts flying around his apartment, he finally has to face facts that he’s becoming a vampire. Even though he craves blood, he chooses not to take human lives and convinces his two klutzy friends to steal bloody cotton swabs from the operating room, which he uses as tea bags. When the vampire chick’s pimp says the good doctor has “ginseng blood”, he has her track him down so he can drain him dry personally. The doctor and vamp fall in love and in the end; they join forces to battle the vampiric pimp.
The Chinese people have never been known as comic geniuses (unless your name is Jackie Chan that is), so you can probably guess that the “comedy” in this flick is pretty unbearable. (Although I will admit the scene where a vampire gets a raging hard on was pretty funny.) The horror aspects of the film are equally slipshod, but this isn’t nearly as bad as some
The bottom line is that this flick plays like a