April 13th, 2008

SUBURBIA CONFIDENTIAL (1966) **

After directing the ultimate nudie horror movie, Orgy of the Dead, A.C. Stephens (real name:  Stephen C. Apostolof) returned with this tepid look inside the lives of bored housewives.  It’s not great, but it’s definitely better than a rerun of Desperate Housewives. 

 

A psychiatrist sits behind a desk and tells the audience about his various patients (all of whom are sex starved housewives) who are all having extramarital affairs.  (Something tells me this is a breach of confidentiality agreements, but oh well.)  For the next hour, we’re treated to scenes of wives (most of whom have weird accents) seducing a TV repairman, a milkman, a carpet salesman, a bellhop, and even the Avon lady! 

 

This low budget softcore skin flick is pretty inept (all of the moaning and heavy breathing is badly dubbed in and the psychiatrist often has to read from his script), but it still features enough nudity to hold your attention.  You have to at least give Stephens credit for trying to spice things up by throwing in a few fetishes in there.  (There’s lesbianism, light bondage and even a transvestite.) 

 

Although Suburbia Confidential is thoroughly mediocre in about every way, it isn’t boring, shows plenty of skin and clocks in at just under an hour, so it’s hard to hate it completely.  The success of this flick led Stephens to direct two other films in the “series; Motel Confidential and College Girls Confidential.   

 

AKA:  Suburban Confidential.

OFFICE LOVE-IN (1968) * ½

 

Sexy Marsha Jordan works as a secretary at a dating service (Date-A-Mate) and gets it on with her boss on a pull out sofa bed, with a lesbian masseur and with a bank teller who makes her watch a stag movie.  In the end, she learns that the lesbo was the boss’s wife and the teller was his brother-in-law and she proclaims to the camera, “I’ll be damned; I went through the whole family!”

 

Director A.C. Stephens has made the same movie about twenty times but in a different setting.  In Motel Confidential, people screwed in a motel.  In College Girls Confidential, it was teenage girls getting it on.  Now in Office Love-In, we get a bunch of secretaries knocking the boots.  If the movie featured nothing but Jordan hopping in bed with everyone she sees, this could’ve had potential, but unfortunately Stephens throws in some unnecessary characters that slows the film down quite a bit.  (This flick runs 80 minutes, about 20 longer than most of Stephens’ similar cinematic offerings.) 

 

Stephens also repeats himself a lot in this one as the transvestite character (probably based on Ed Wood) and the lesbian seduction via lotion massage scene are nearly identical to the ones found in his Suburbia Confidential.  In fact, scenes from that movie also turn up in this flick!  (It’s the stag movie shown near the end of the film.)  The film benefits from plenty of nudity and a likable performance by Jordan, but it’s all for naught as the tedious pacing and the inflated running time will undoubtedly stifle any chance of you sporting wood during this movie.

 

AKA:  Office Love-in, White Collar Style.  AKA:  White Collar Style.  AKA:  Swinging Secretary.