September 21st, 2008

EMANUELLE: QUEEN OF SADOS (1979) ** ½

Emanuelle (Laura Gemser) hates her wealthy hubby cuz he likes to get his friends together and play freaky sex games with her so she hires a greasy hitman to mess around with his airplane engine which leads him to die in a plane crash.  Emanuelle wants all of her dead husband’s money but since he left everything to his underage brat of a daughter (Livia Russo), she has to be content with leeching off the kid’s trust fund.  She also wants revenge on the folks who used to hold her down while hubby beat her like a piñata, but she ends up falling in love with her ex’s confidant (Gemser’s husband and frequent co-star, Gabriele Tinti) instead.  When the meddling hitman shows up and rapes her stepdaughter, it drives Emanuelle on a further quest for vengeance. 

 

Gemser is as hot as ever and has a couple juicy fuck scenes this time out.  This entry has a lot more plot than your average unrelated Black Emanuelle movie so her sex scenes are spaced pretty far apart.  That won't be too much of a deterrent for die hard Emanuelle enthusiasts though as there are enough scenes of Gemser stark naked to keep them happy.  Luckily the despicable hitman also gets to bed down with an assorted bunch of naked trollops to keep you entertained while you’re waiting for Gemser’s turn to disrobe.

 

Those used to the sleazier Joe D’Amato lensed entries in the series shouldn’t be too disappointed with this flick as it’s got a creepy pedophilia aspect to it that makes the bestiality in Emanuelle in America seem almost tame in comparison.  In one scene, Emanuelle’s VERY young stepdaughter takes a LONG shower and NOTHING is left to the imagination.  I’m sure she was of age when she made this… uh… right?  It’s hard to tell either way because her itty bitty titties looked a little on the statutory side to me.  Either that or she’s one Hell of an actress.  I won’t even bring up her hard-to-watch rape scene that crosses the line of good taste.  I’ll take the Fifth on that one, your honor. 

 

I would have been happy with the soap opera melodramatics and the borderline kiddie porn this movie had to offer; sadly though the ending is so abrupt that it’s liable to give you whiplash.  (And I should know as I was rear ended by a pick-up truck last month.)  This will hardly matter though to anyone watching this flick for the sole purpose of seeing Russo’s (hopefully) of age body. 

 

The asshole hitman gets the best line of the movie when he asks Emanuelle, “You wouldn’t begrudge me a piece of tail?”

 

AKA:  Emanuelle’s Daughter.  AKA:  Emanuelle the Seductress.  AKA:  Emanuelle:  Queen Bitch.  AKA:  Sexy Moon.

MIDNIGHT PHANTOM (1935) **

Lieutenant Dan Burke (Lloyd Hughes) asks the Chief of Police (Jim Farley) for his daughter’s hand in marriage and he readily grants his permission.  When his brother dies during a bank robbery, Burke tries to cover it up; which leads the Chief to renege on the deal.  The Chief eventually winds up dead and all fingers point to Burke, who with some quick thinking has to clear his name. 

 

There’s no Phantom and it’s never Midnight in this pokey paced Poverty Row police programmer.  Let’s talk slow-moving for a second.  The first 20 minutes of the movie is almost nothing but the Chief of Police calling in a bunch of cops into his office one at a time so he can ream them out.  While this effectively sets up all the film’s numerous red herrings, it doesn’t exactly make for gripping cinema. 

 

I found it pretty funny that most of the cops in this movie were of the stereotypical Irish variety, although Farley was quite good as the no-nonsense Chief.  It’s Reginald (Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) Denny who fares the best though as the dapper detective who can guess a criminal’s past by just looking at him.  The scenes where Denny applies his skill are easily the best in the whole movie and will make you wish the flick was all about THAT instead of the lame-brained murder/mystery stuff. 

 

Midnight Phantom moves slower than a slug and will offer no surprises for anyone accustomed to these cheapie whodunits from the 30’s.  At least the running time is a mercifully short 59 minutes.