TRADER HORNEE (1970) **
A group of explorers led by Trader Hornee (“The E’s are silent!”) go looking for an heiress who was abandoned in the jungles of
Trader Hornee is exactly the sort of lame sex spoof you would expect from writer/producer David F. Friedman. While it isn’t exactly a “bad” movie, it suffers from comparison to his other classics. It’s not as dirty as The Defilers, not as sexy as A Smell of Honey, A Swallow of Brine and certainly not nearly as much fun as the Friedman produced Herschell Gordon Lewis movies. Therefore it’s not necessarily essential viewing, but since I have a soft spot in my heart for Friedman, one of the best hucksters in the 60’s smut business, I can’t be too harsh on it.
The film has just about everything that you’d want in a softcore jungle spoof. There’s a (literal) man in a gorilla suit, sepia tone flashbacks, comic relief black natives, badly edited-in stock footage, and of course, lots and lots of boobies. We even get a talking crocodile tossed in there for no good reason too.
Most of the chicks in the cast have decent bodies and so-so faces. The only legitimate hottie in the movie is Deek Sills, who plays Algona. She never appeared in anything else, and that’s kind of a shame because she’s pretty good in this flick. She’s really sexy and looks hot as Hell in a loincloth.
Although you have to sit through a lot of tepid sex scenes and some truly awful jokes, once Sills gets nude and starts popping her leopard skin bikini top, it’s pretty fun stuff. It’s not very good but I bet if I saw it when I was fifteen I would’ve loved it. At least some of the dialogue is good for a chuckle or two. Among some of my favorites: “I never met a dyke I didn’t like!” and “Come blow your Horn!”
AKA: Legend of the Lost Goddess. AKA: The Legend of the Golden Goddess. AKA: Trader Horne.