Every movie under the sun’s being remade, so of course since nothing is sacred in Hollywood, they had to go and remake one of my all time favorite movies. Having Michael Bay, director of such turkeys like Bad Boys and Pearl Harbor produce this is an even bigger insult to injury. Despite these odds, the first 45 minutes are pretty intense, with a shocking suicide, an updated, more graphic version of the original’s meat hook scene and Jessica Biel running around in a wet t-shirt. Getting John Larroquette to do the opening narration was a nice touch, since he did the same thing in the original movie. Unfortunately, they drop the ball when they tell you Leatherface’s real name, and when he takes his mask off. Some things are better left to the imagination. Also, it’s way too politically correct because the boys get mutilated and tortured while the girls either die quickly or get away. This wouldn’t have happened in the 70’s! There’s also an unfortunate Blair Witch inspired ending. I think if they called this Part 5 instead of a remake, I wouldn’t have minded so much. Stick with the original. Directed by Marcus Nispel.