The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

UNBREAKABLE (2000) NO STARS

I wasn’t a fan of The 6th Sense, but it did have its moments. Unbreakable on the other hand is just plain horrible. M. Night Shymalan’s follow-up to his surprise blockbuster is a badly plotted, laughable, slow paced, badly acted (by good actors!) bore. Even the whole premise is dumb and the supposed “surprise” ending is flat and stupid. In Philadelphia, a security guard (Bruce Willis) is the sole survivor of an offscreen train wreck. A mysteriously fragile comic book collector (Samuel L. Jackson) may know why Willis survived without a scratch. But do you care? No. This movie is soooo bad.

Unbreakable is Unwatchable. The actors aren’t just wasted, they look wasted too. No one speaks above a whisper in this film! And what’s with Willis’ wife (Robin Wright Penn)? She’s just there to whisper and look sad. And slow! I’ve watched paint dry quicker than this movie’s pace. And the scene in which Willis’ son pulls a gun on him to prove that he is “Unbreakable” is wrongheaded and goofy. This movie even gives ponchos a bad name. Shymalan should stop counting his money from The 6th Sense and quit making movies altogether.

Willis has been in some bad movies in his day but this is the granddaddy of them all. It makes The Sixth Sense look like Pulp Fiction. It makes The Bonfire of the Vanities look like Die Hard. It makes Look Who’s Talking Too look like Look Who’s Talking. It makes North look like The Last Boy Scout. It makes Color of Night look like Last Man Standing. It makes Mercury Rising look like Armageddon. It makes The Siege look like Striking Distance. It makes Billy Bathgate look like Twelve Monkeys. It makes Hudson Hawk look like Hudson Hawk!

The worst movie ever? Could be, but I think I’d give the edge to The Cell.
Tags: drama, u, willis
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