The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

BLOODRAYNE (2006) **

After House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, the Uwe-Boll-directed-movie-based-on-a-video-game is quickly becoming a genre unto itself.  This one is kinda like a cross between Blade, Lord of the Rings and Conan.  

Hottie Kristianna (Terminator 3) Loken stars as the smoking Rayne, a half human/half vampire chick that is hunted by the evil Kagen, played by Ben (Tuck Everlasting) Kingsley.  (Memo to Ben:  Fire your agent!)  She wants revenge on Kagen because he killed her mother, so she teams up with a trio of vampire hunters (Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez and Matt Davis) to defeat him.  

Boll offers up plenty of gore (severed heads, throat rippings, eye gougings, etc.) and a healthy dose of nudity, but unfortunately the action scenes are edited so haphazardly, it’s hard to tell what the hell is going on half the time.  Of the cast, Billy Zane seems to be having the most fun as he gleefully hams it up.  Loken, who can stand around and look hot like it’s nobody’s business, is pretty good in the lead and has an energetic fuck scene with Davis in a jail cell.  Madsen on the other hand looks bored (or drunk) and you can tell that most of his lines were looped in (poorly) after the fact.  Kingsley pretty much just sits on his throne with a single facial expression and reminisces how far he’s come since Gandhi.  Of the other cast members, Rodriguez’ British accent is almost as bad as Kevin Costner’s in Robin Hood and Davis makes for a so-so romantic lead.  Meat Loaf and Michael (Eddie and the Cruisers) Pare also turn up in small roles.  

Guinevere (American Psycho) Turner wrote the screenplay.  Madsen and Kingsley (who have one awkward scene together) were also in Species together.  Boll’s next is yet another movie based on a video game (!), Dungeon Siege. 

Tags: action, b, based on a video game, horror, michael madsen, uwe boll, vampires

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