The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

BLOODY MALLORY (2002) ** ½

This French import copies Resident Evil, Blade and Underworld.  It’s mostly entertaining thanks to Olivia Bonamy’s performance as the titular character.  She’s the sexy ass kicking leader of an “anti-paranormal commando unit” with a red dye job and skin tight rubber suit to match.  She drives a pink hearse and along with her team (which include a blue haired transsexual who says “Give me sodomy or give me death!” and a telekinetic girl) must stop vampire villainess Valentina (Hellraiser 4:  Bloodline) Vargas from kidnapping the Pope!  Mallory also communicates with her dead demon hubby (who she axed to death on their wedding day) to locate evil.  

The film pretty much shoots its wad in the first twenty minutes in the incredible scene where From Dusk Till Dawn looking “ghouls” rape nuns, who explode and give birth to baby ghouls.  After that though, it’s pretty much your average straight forward direct to DVD action horror movie.  I don’t know if the American dubbing is responsible for lines like “Do you realize that you and I alone will be pitted against an entire town of monsters and psychopaths?”, or if it was the original French translation, but there are a couple lines of incredibly awful dialogue.  There’s also in joke character names (Father Karras, Talking Tina) and at least one Pokemon inspired fight scene.  

A mixed bag to be sure, but for every lame lost inside a labyrinth scene, there’s at least one exploding nun.  Not a bad trade off.

Tags: b, horror
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