The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

THE CAVE (2005) *

After co-starring in Pitch Black, Cole Hauser must have said, “Hey I need to do more movies where I’m trapped in the dark and chased by winged CGI beasties created by Patrick Tatopoulos!”  Hauser leads an expedition team of rock climbers down the titular cave who are attacked by unevolved, parasitic monsters that look like Giger’s Alien with wings.  The (unintentional) laughs start when Hauser is bitten by one of the monsters and slowly starts transforming into a creature.  Seeing Hauser wear funny contact lenses, act like a damned dog in heat, and try desperately to convince the audience that he’s half human is pretty funny, but that’s not nearly enough to recommend this flick.  The ending is also especially stupid.  Morris Chestnut, who plays Hauser’s right hand man, also battled CGI monsters in Anacondas:  The Hunt for the Blood Orchid.  Piper (Coyote Ugly) Perabo gets the best line:  “It flies!  It freaking flies!”) and gets Captain Dallas’ed halfway through the movie.  

Tags: c, horror
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