The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE MAJORETTES (1986) * ½

Some of the major talent behind the original Night of the Living Dead was responsible for this mess of a horror movie about a small town lunatic who is slashing the throats of the local high school majorettes.  Is it the perverted retard peeping tom caretaker?  The mean spirited live-in nurse?  How about the demented dope pusher?  Or could it be the sheriff? 

 

Actually it is the sheriff.  I’m not giving anything away here because his identity is revealed halfway through the film.  Once we learn who’s doing the killing, the movie switches gears completely and becomes a revenge picture.  You see, the mean spirited live-in nurse blackmails the sheriff into making the virginal majorette his next victim, but unfortunately a gang of rowdy drug dealers mow her down first.  Then, her wimp quarterback boyfriend takes off his shirt, grabs a semi-automatic weapon and starts blowing scum away and setting fire to seedy trailer parks.  In the end, the killer gets away Scot free. 

 

HUH!?!

 

The shame about this movie is that for the first hour or so, we have ourselves a fairly decent slasher flick.  There’s a great cheesy opening dance sequence where all the drum majorettes get to strut their stuff before heading off to the locker room to strut their OTHER stuff.  Speaking of women who know how to strut their stuff, we also get to watch a stripper do a snake dance.  It’s just too bad she wasn’t as top heavy as the plot. 

 

The murderer does get to off a few broads before the inane teenage Rambo subplot kicks in though, but his method is strictly of the neck slashing variety.  The camouflaged killer murders two kids necking in lover’s lane, kills a chick in her swimming pool, and slashes a teen’s throat after a shower and dumps her body in a locker.  The killer also likes to “baptize” his victim’s bodies to cleanse them of their “sin”.  Had the movie continued with the original theme of a killer murdering half naked chicks, The Majorettes could’ve been worthwhile, but the idiotic revenge subplot sinks it. 

 

The movie is good for a few chuckles though.  There’s a ridiculous looking gang that wouldn’t even have made it in a Troma movie, the Halloween-ish synth score, and actors with their scripts clearly in front of them. 

 

The director Bill Hinzman was the main zombie in Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead and went on to direct the godawful Revenge of the Living Zombies (AKA:  Flesheater).  John Russo, the man who co-wrote NOTLD, wrote the screenplay, based on his novel.   

 

The majorette leader gets the best line:  “We have to forget about the hurt and go on with our lives.”  Dr. Phil couldn’t have said it better.

 

AKA:  One by One. 

Tags: horror, m
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