An open letter to director Richard Kelly, director of Southland Tales:
Dear Mr. Kelly:
I enjoyed your first film, Donnie Darko, but honestly your new film, Southland Tales was absolutely THE worst piece of shit I’ve ever seen.
Mr. Kelly, can I call you DICK?
Dick, stop making films.
If I ever see you with a camera in your hands again, I will be forced to Rodney King you into submission.
If you happen to capture video footage of me beating you within an inch of your life, I can assure you it would be a billion times more entertaining than the bloated, self indulgent 145 minute eyeball raping I’ve just endured.
The Video Vacuum