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RICCO (1979) **

Robert Mitchum’s son, Christopher stars as Ricco, the gangly spawn of a Mafia chieftain who gets out of jail only to learn that his father has been murdered by a rival mobster.  Encouraged by his nympho sister and his crippled mother, he sets out for vengeance; with a little help from a mucho sexy counterfeiter (Barbara Bouchet from Death Rage).  The mobster is so diabolical that when an employee crosses him, he melts them down in a vat of acid and turns their leftover fat into soap.  (I wonder if Palahniuk saw this before he wrote Fight Club.)  After Ricco shakes up the syndicate, the Mob boss retaliates by killing THE REST of his family, which means he’s got to go out for revenge AGAIN. 

 

Mitchum’s kung fu scenes are some of the lamest ever committed to celluloid.  He looks more like a beanpole stoner than a Mafia tough guy.  Seriously, this guy is about as convincing with a karate chop as Stephen Hawking.  The original Italian title of this movie is Some Guy with a Strange Face is Looking for You to Kill You.  It would’ve been more appropriate if it was called Some Guy Who is the Son of a Famous Actor and Wouldn’t Be Here Unless His Dad Made a Few Phone Calls is Looking for You to Kill You.  If the movie had a believable tough guy in the role of Ricco instead of this prissy looking ninny, this flick may have worked.  Unfortunately whenever Mitchum tries to punch somebody, all credibility goes out the window. 

 

What the flick lacks in the acting department, it makes up for in other areas.  There are a few grisly gunshot wounds (one in the head, another in the ass) as well as a memorable scene in which a guy gets castrated, has his severed business shoved down his throat and is tossed into a vat of acid. 

 

In addition, the movie is also brimming with lots of beautiful women running around with their luscious cantaloupes on display.  I never sat down and actually watched An Inconvenient Truth, but I have to go on record by disagreeing with Al Gore’s claims about global warming.  It was NOT the depletion of the ozone layer that melted the polar icecaps.  It was scene where Barbara Bouchet performed her sultry impromptu striptease on the hood of a car that was the real culprit.  To say this has to be one of the hottest scenes ever captured on film would be a tremendous understatement.  Her magnificent figure easily compensates for the poky pacing, the chintzy action scenes and the bland performance of Mitchum. 

 

AKA:  Ricco, The Mean Machine.  AKA:  The Mean Machine.  AKA:  Cauldron of Death.  AKA:  Gangland.  AKA:  Some Guy with a Strange Face is Looking for You to Kill You.  AKA:  The Dirty Mob. 

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