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THE ATLANTIS INTERCEPTORS (1983) * ½

 

The director of Cannibal Holocaust, Ruggero Deodato was responsible for this ridiculous sci-fi action movie that plays like a hodgepodge of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ghosts of Mars and The Road Warrior.

 

It’s the futuristic year of 1994 (the old future) and Atlantis has just risen out of the ocean off the coast of Miami.   The appearance of the mythical continent awakens the spirits of Atlantean warriors which are hidden inside random Florida residents and pretty soon they start dressing like extras from Mad Max, style their hair a la Mr. T and drive around on motorcycles.  These dudes are lead by a guy wearing a see-thru plastic skull mask and get their kicks by lobbing machetes into people’s skulls and strapping guys to their cars as if they were human hood ornaments.  The Atlanteans kidnap a cute archeologist and try to make her decode the secret that can return their continent to it’s former glory and it’s up to a pair of ragtag sailors to rescue her and send the Atlanteans back where they came from.

 

It takes forever for this movie to finally get going, but there was at least one excellent action sequence where the good guys endlessly pelt the punk rocker leather bar bikers with Molotov cocktails.  Other than that, most of the action is incompetently staged and incomprehensibly edited.  The miniscule budget doesn’t do the flick any favors as “Atlantis” looks exactly like Italy (imagine that) and the sets for the Atlantean inner sanctum wouldn’t have cut it on the old Star Trek show. 

 

As a whole, The Atlantis Interceptors may be one big pile of crap, but at least it’s got a great theme song (it sounds like they’re singing “Roly Poly Dance Inferno”) and features the best motorcycle decapitation via clothesline scene since She Devils on Wheels.

 

AKA:  The Raiders of Atlantis.  AKA:  Atlantis.  AKA:  Atlantis Inferno.

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