Any movie that opens up with Milla Jovovich talking incessantly about her boyfriend’s humongous schlong immediately gets my full attention. (In more ways than one if you know what I mean.) Any movie in which Milla Jovovich gets fucked and shows her goodies BEFORE the opening credits is also enough to keep me fully engrossed. But any movie that slowly starts to descend into boring clichés and paper thin characters will make me lose interest REAL fast. Then again, this movie features lots of scenes of Milla Jovovich nekkid (albeit tastefully), so it can’t be all THAT bad.
Jovovich plays the girlfriend of a scumbag gun dealer named Big Al (Angus MacFadyen) who sells the titular gun from his collection under his nose. When Al beats her within an inch of her life, she decides she’s had enough and seduces not one, but FOUR people and draws them into her elaborate revenge scheme. Luckily for the audience, two out of the four people are LESBIANS, which means we get a couple of hot scenes where bull dykes munch down on Milla’s juice box.
.45 is the kind of movie that there were scads of in the mid 90’s when everyone wanted to be the next Tarantino and filled their movies with skeevy underworld characters who spouted colorfully off-color dialogue, racial epithets and pop culture references. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn’t exactly help matters when most of the characters are as irritating as all get out. The biggest annoyance of the movie comes from the characters constantly breaking the fourth wall and giving the audience confessionals about why the do this and can’t stand that, etc., etc., etc. This device could’ve been put to good use, but unfortunately the dialogue in these scenes is amateurishly written and is delivered awkwardly compared what the characters say during the “plot” portions of the film. The complete non-ending doesn’t do the flick any favors either.
Milla looks incredibly hot naked and the lesbian scenes, while brief; are reason enough for me to recommend this flick to any heterosexual male with an ounce of testosterone and a heartbeat. MacFadyen is pretty great while spouting shit like, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you fucking cunt!”, but it’s the skanky lesbian who gets the best line of the movie: “You know men are like snow. I never know how many inches I’m gonna get or how long it’s gonna last!”