The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum

TANYA (1976) *

Remember the 70’s when you didn’t have to be good looking to star in a smut picture?  Well, you can relive those glorious days with Tanya, a fictionalized, no-budget, softcore account of the Patty Hearst story starring some of the ugliest motherfuckers you’ve ever seen in a sex flick. 


The “Symphonic Liberation Army” kidnaps an heiress named Charlotte Kane (Maria Arnold from Fugitive Girls) and say if her father (named Charles Foster Kane!!!) doesn’t meet their demands, they’ll kill her.  While daddy twiddles his thumbs, the prudish Charlotte gets introduced to some middling softcore sex, courtesy of her captors.  Once she’s turned into a full fledged slut by the SLA, Charlotte changes her name to Tanya and wants to fuck, fuck, fuck.    


The sex scenes are a grab bag of interracial, bald guys balling bitches with big bushes, and ugly lesbians going at it.  All of these scenes are indifferently staged (usually on the same set no less), poorly filmed and are decidedly unsexy.  With the exception of Miss Arnold, nearly all of the stars are about as photogenic as a dog’s ass and are forced to deliver a stream of unending hippie gobbledygook that will have you scrambling for the mute button. 


I guess back in ’76 people were hot to see a crass rip-off of the Hearst story.  32 years later, the headlines are history all that’s left is a woefully dated and none-too arousing bore.  


AKA:  Sex Queen of the SLA.

Tags: exploitation, t
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