A bunch of tree hugging environmentalists working for a Greenpeacey kind of organization called “One Earth” charter a voyage from a down-and-out boat captain (Michael Pare from Eddie and the Cruisers) to go to an uncharted island to protest a top secret animal testing facility. Once they arrive there, they find that the scientists’ experiments turned everything “Super-Sized”, which resulted in creating a king-sized komodo dragon and a colossal cobra. And they are HUNGRY!
I was a fan of Boa vs. Python so I was at least hoping that this retread would be just as much fun. Plus, the great Jim (Chopping Mall) Wynorski was at the helm, which made me optimistic that the flick would at least deliver in the cheese department. What I got was your average, run-of-the-mill Sci-Fi Channel Original bull-honky. Sure, the opening scene in which Jay (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers)
The biggest disappointment came from the titular reptiles themselves. The effects were pretty bad (though not quite as bad as some of the stuff you catch on Sci-Fi at an ungodly hour) but I was surprised by just how little was actually done with the monsters. Komodo got the best moments in the film, as he could kill his prey in a variety of ways. Whether he was grabbing people with his long tongue, scalding them with his acidic saliva, whacking them around with his tail or stomping the ever-loving shit out of them, Komodo was one bad amphibian. Cobra’s only method of consumption was swallowing people whole, which was a major letdown. Speaking of letdowns, the final battle between the two behemoths lasted all of two minutes and you had to wait until the last five minutes of the flick to see it. Bummer.
What saved the flick from being a complete shitfest was Michael Pare. Pare may have been phoning in his roles for the past 15 years or so, but I actually liked him in this flick. With the exception of Jay Richardson (who’s always fun to watch), Pare is the only one who seems to give a damn about this flick and he easily outshines the rest of the annoying cast. I don’t know if it was because Wynorski let Pare be an executive producer on the flick or what. The point is that with this movie, Pare made up for his numerous shitty performances in all those Uwe Boll movies; at least in my book. He also lent the film its brief flashes of intentional humor (“We’re going on a three hour tour”) that complimented the unintentional humor (the crappy CGI effects) nicely.
Komodo vs. Cobra may be brimming with bad effects and missed opportunities but as “VS.” movies go, it’s still a Hell of a lot better than Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.
AKA: Komodo vs. King Cobra.