The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

POSSESSION (1983) ** ½

Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani are having some serious marital problems so they decide it’s best to take a break from each other.  They try to act civil but Sam’s hatred towards her gets renewed when he finds out she’s fucking a femmy German guy who looks to be about 40 but still lives with his mother.  Sam goes over there to rough him up a bit, but the dude is a karate expert or something and he kicks the shit out of poor Sam.  Then Isabelle starts acting REALLY weird (the big tip-off:  she keeps the laundry in the refrigerator) so Sammy Boy hires a detective to follow her around town and get the goods on her.  When the private dick sneaks into her apartment, the gumshoe is promptly turned into gumbo when Isabelle wigs out and slashes him up with a broken wine bottle.  Then a lot more guys start following Isabelle home and she starts feeding them to her new lover who turns out to be… are you ready for this folks?  A slimy octopus slop monster!

 

If Sam went nuts when he found out his wife was fucking a bisexual black belt, how do you think he’s going to react when he learns she’s balling a slippery sex squid?

 

Man, this is one weird movie.  It’s not necessarily a GOOD weird movie though.  I mean there are “What the Fuck?” Movies and there are “What the… Fuck It!” Movies.  “What the Fuck?” Movies are the kind of movies that don’t make a lick of sense but you accept them because the “rules” of the film are more or less intact, even though for the most part you're left saying, “What the Fuck?” a lot.  (Like say… Mulholland Drive.)  Possession is a “What the… Fuck It!” Movie.  “What the… Fuck It!” Movies are movies that purposefully don’t make a lick of sense; that throw all logic out the window and when you DO try to put the pieces together, it just gives you one big headache.  You try to figure it out by saying “What the…” but eventually you get so fed up with the movie you end up saying “Fuck It!”

 

Director Andrzej Zulawski kinda pulled a reverse Polanski on us with this one.  Most of Polanski’s horror movies start out mundanely but he slowly ratchets up the suspense and supernatural elements until the flick reaches full boil.  With Possession, Zulawski films all the everyday stuff like parents arguing with such an over the top exuberance that it resembles a Lifetime Original on Steroids.  What’s maddening about the film is that once the Sex Squid shows up, the flick grinds to a complete halt and Zulawski’s pacing goes into a coma.  I mean why would the dude stage all the boring stuff like a fucking Michael Bay action sequence then film the monster scenes as if it was My Dinner with Andre? 

 

I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t see this movie though.  Isabelle Adjani’s performance is reason enough to spend two hours in front of the tube with this flick.  If you loved her in Ishtar then you’re going to go gaga for her here.  Not only does she show off her tits a whole bunch in this movie, but she also deserves some kind of award for Excellence in Bat Shit Insanity by a French Broad.  Seriously, I thought the poor gal was going to pop a blood vessel from flailing around so much in this movie.  Parts of Possession are just plain dumb but this flick has enough scenes of Isabelle Adjani doing freaky shit in it to make you doubt your sanity more than once.  Isabelle going bonkers and cutting herself with an electric knife?  Check!  Isabelle acting crazier than an outhouse rat until melted ice cream oozes out of her ears and twat?  Gotcha!  Isabelle getting busy with a gelatinous calamari lover?  You know it.       

 

AKA:  The Night the Screaming Stops.

Tags: horror, p
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