Asia Argento is one of my favorite actresses working in films right now, mostly because she always seems to find a way to take off all of her clothes. (Plus those skanky tattoos are kinda hot, especially that one of the huge angel coming out of her twat.) Michael Madsen has always been one of my favorite actors, mostly because he always plays the same guy (the embittered badass) in every movie. S & M sex is always fun because I always got off on that “Master/Slave” shit. So, you would think that Boarding Gate, a movie that features Asia Argento and Michael Madsen having S & M sex would be one for the record books, right? Wrong. This movie sucks donkey balls.
Basically what we have is Michael Madsen is this big deal businessman who likes to have S & M sex with Asia Argento. So far, so good. The thing is, before the S & M sex, they like to have long, drawn out conversations where they barely speak above a whisper and you have to turn the volume setting on your Wal-Mart LCD television up to about 75 just to figure out what the fuck they’re talking about.
Turns out it’s a bunch of boring Emo shit about how he’s all depressed about his wife leaving him and taking the kids. Dude, Asia Argento is down on her knees wearing see-through black lingerie, all ready to fuck and you’re talking about your fucking wife and kids?!?
Anyway to spice things up,
Then we learn that Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth is somehow involved in all of this. Apparently the kids don’t go gaga for the grunge music like they used to, so poor Kim's got to be a go-between for Asian hitmen and Italian hookers just to pay the bills.
I don’t know about this movie. I “get” the ending (Madsen hired the Asian dude to hire
The movie HAD potential. If the filmmakers went hogwild on the nudity and violence, it could’ve been a classic. Sadly, they opt for a bunch of aforementioned artsy fartsy crap instead.
Oh and WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS MOVIE CALLED BOARDING GATE? There is ONE scene in the movie where