The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum


The Japanese equivalent of NASA sends a bunch of astronauts to Mars.  They end up bringing a monster named Guilala home with them who rapidly grows to enormous size and rampages through Tokyo.  In the end, the Japanese Air Force bukkakes the monster to death.


Like any Japanese Monster Movie, it goes without saying that the effects in The X from Outer Space are going to be terrible.  Get a load of the hilarious scenes of the astronauts walking on the surface of Mars.  To simulate the effects of zero gravity the filmmakers just had the actors hop up and down on trampolines and filmed it in slow-motion.  Incredible. 


And then there’s the monster, Guilala.  He looks exactly like Godzilla, except that his head is shaped like a chicken.  My guess is that this flick was called The “X” from Outer Space is because no one in their right mind would’ve gone to see a movie called The Chicken from Outer Space.  I could be wrong though. 


The first half of this flick is thoroughly dull, even for Japanese Monster Movie standards.  (I know I’m supposed to call them “Kaijus”, but calling a Japanese Monster Movie a Kaiju just makes you sound like a pretentious asshole.  They are men in fucking rubber suits for God’s sakes!)  I understand the rules of the genre, I know you got to slowly build up the reveal of the cheesy monster but c’mon!  This flick moved about as fast as a snail on Ambien. 


Having said that though; the monster mashing scenes in this movie ARE pretty priceless.  In fact, it’s some of the best monster mashing carnage ever captured on film.  Honestly that’s all that really matters in these things anyway.  I mean no one ever went all gaga for Gamera because of the “plot” now did they?  I loved the dogfights between the jets and Guilala and the scene where the one plane flew right into his face was pretty great.  The best part though was when Guilala picked up a battleship and threw it into the city.  Some of his powers were a little on the weird side, especially when he turned himself into a gigantic everlasting gobstopper and flew around the city, causing even more destruction. 


I wanted to REALLY like this flick.  It’s just unfortunate that the first half of the movie was so severely boring.  That’s okay, as long as the model buildings got fucked up real good in the end, I was a happy camper.  I’d say One Star for the first half, Four Stars for the second, that works out to be ** ½.  As far as Japanese Monster Movies go, you can certainly do a helluva lot worse.  


AKA:  Big Space Monster Guilala.  AKA:  Gilala.  AKA:  Girara.

Tags: horror, x
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