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SCREAM… AND DIE! (1974) **

The year before Joseph Ramon Larraz gave the world the seminal horror classic Vampyres, he went to Britain and directed this kinda-sorta giallo.  The old “To Avoid Fainting, Keep Repeating It’s Only a Movie!” gimmick from Last House on the Left was used once again to lure people into the theater.  You won’t have to repeat that mantra though, as Scream… and Die is pretty lukewarm.

 

A model and her boyfriend break into a mansion on a dark and foggy night where they witness a naked chick being murdered with a switchblade.  When her boyfriend disappears soon afterwards, she tries to get people to believe her story, and of course nobody does.

 

Despite the fact that the flick is dreary and sluggishly paced, Larraz pours on plenty of gothic atmosphere during the murder sequences (the scene in the junkyard is creepy), which should help to keep your attention when things are getting particularly tough going.  If it doesn’t though, you can count on the ample amount of female breasts to do the trick.

 

The movie also features an inexplicable scene in which a hot naked chick unexplainably wakes up next to a monkey!  I’ve seen some weird shit in my time (after all, Troll 2 is one of my favorite movies) but this one took the fucking cake.  Scream… and Die ain’t all that great, but if you want to see a nude broad make out with a monkey, then this flick is for you!

 

AKA:  The Psycho Sex Fiend.  AKA:  The House That Vanished.

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