The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

LASERBLAST (1978) ** ½

Aliens that look like giant shell-less turtles come to Earth and blow up a green skinned dude with a laser gun attached to his arm.  A misfit teen named Billy (Kim Milford) finds the gun and it turns him into a green faced alien who gets his kicks by blowing up random shit (like a Star Wars billboard), as well as the cops and bullies that are always on his back.  Eventually, the Teenage Mutant Alien Turtles come back and kill off Billy, effectively putting an end to his reign of terror. 

 

Laserblast is goofy as shit.  From the turtle aliens that only speak in gibberish to the gun that has the ability to make Billy resemble an emaciated version of the Incredible Hulk, nothing in Laserblast makes much sense.  I don’t know; I kinda dug it though.  The aliens were so damn silly looking that I cracked up every time they were on screen.  That may not have been the intended effect, but to me there is no such thing as a “bad” laugh; especially in a cruddy, low budget, 70’s sci-fi movie.  The scenes of the scrawny green-skinned Milford running around town blowing things up were good for a few chuckles as well.

 

Alas, the flick grinds to a halt whenever Milford isn’t Laserblasting the shit out of something.  The scenes of a dumbass Fed pussyfooting around the desert looking for Billy really drags things down and the stuff with the annoying comic relief cracker cops is quite tedious.  The film really needed more scenes of the dorky aliens to keep up the nutty momentum necessary for Laserblast to be a classic.  As it is, there are only enough hilarious scenes of screwy looking space creatures to only warrant a ** ½ rating. 

 

The performances are wildly uneven.  While the flick gets some mileage out of extended cameos by old pros such as Roddy McDowall and Keenan Wynn, they don’t stick around long enough to make much of an impression.  Milford is bland as all get out in the lead and just looks plain stupid in the green-faced alien make-up.  That’s okay though because I’ll take any chance I can get to ogle the luscious Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith.  And say what you will about this movie, but it’s the only flick I can think of in which Eddie Deezen plays a BULLY, so that’s immediately worth SOMETHING in my book.

Tags: l, mst3k, sci-fi
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