The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961) *

In the annals of bad filmdom, Ed Wood usually gets singled out as the BEST worst director of all time.  I agree with that because Wood made very personal movies that just happened to be very ineptly shot, directed and acted.  If we’re talking about the WORST worst director of all time though; that honor would have to go to Coleman Francis.  Although Francis was primarily an actor (who worked with everyone from Ray Dennis Steckler to Russ Meyer), the three films he directed; Red Zone Cuba, The Skydivers, and this flick, are some of the worst movies ever made.  The Beast of Yucca Flats is probably Francis’ Plan 9 from Outer Space and while it still sucks hardcore, it’s made watchable by the presence of Swedish wrestler (and frequent Ed Wood star) Tor Johnson.

 

Johnson stars as a Russian scientist who wanders out into the middle of Yucca Flats during some atomic testing and gets blasted by the A-Bomb.  He becomes a hulking, blank-eyed, crusty faced monster who has a penchant for strangling young women.  In the end, he gets gunned down while a bunny gives his dead corpse some kisses.

 

Technically speaking, a blind person could have made a better movie. 

 

There’s the inane narration (provided by Francis himself) that features such hilarious non-sequiturs like “Flag on the moon... how did it get there?”, countless scenes where the actors’ mouths are obscured while they say dialogue (it saves money on sound, plus it’s probably better that way when Tor Johnson is doing the talking), a highly erratic musical score that totally does not fit the action on screen (the orchestra will swell whenever someone just happens to drive down the highway), confusing editing, and some truly awful performances.  This movie straight up reeks.  And don’t even get me started on the ending where Tor kisses a bunny either. 

 

On the plus side, it’s less than an hour long and the opening scene (which was shot after the fact to spice things up) has some brief nudity if you are eagle-eyed enough.  Also, I’m an unabashed Tor Johnson fan, so any movie he’s in deserves at least one star for his presence alone.

 

Suggested Drinking Game:  Take a shot every time the narrator says “Joseph Javorsky”.

 

AKA:  Girl Madness.  AKA:  The Atomic Monster:  The Beast of Yucca Flats.  AKA:  The Violent Sun.

Tags: b, cult, horror, mst3k
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