The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

CURSE OF THE CANNIBAL CONFEDERATES (1982) * ½

John Holmes, Gregg Allman, and Jesus Christ (well not John Holmes, Gregg Allman and Jesus Christ specifically, just three dirty hippies that kinda look like those guys) go on a hunting trip with their Oriental girlfriends out into the woods.  John Holmes finds a Confederate burial ground and steals a diary from a church just for shits and giggles.  By removing the book, he awakens the undead army of Confederate soldiers, who come out of their graves to munch on some hippie guts.

 

Much of Curse of the Cannibal Confederates in indefensible.  The acting is amateurish at best, the editing sucks, the lighting is too dark, and the music will put you to sleep.  (And I do mean that literally as I dozed off about 25 minutes into this stinkburger.) 

 

Having said that, the flick does offer two or three excellent gut-munching scenes and the exploding head gags are hilarious.  The zombie make-up is adequate and the scenes where the undead soldiers rise from their graves are done well, given the budget and talent involved.  While Curse of the Cannibal Confederates does have all that going for it, the flick gets derailed every time the stupid Kiyomi chick opens her mouth.  What’s worse is that this girl is supposed to be BLIND, but there are several scenes in which she can be seen walking around the dark forest alone with the greatest of ease. 

 

The director was probably blind too I guess.

 

AKA:  Curse of the Screaming Dead.  AKA:  Curse of the Confederate Cannibals.

Tags: c, horror, troma, zombie
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