The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

BODY OF EVIDENCE (1993) **

Remember in the early 90’s, shortly after the success of Basic Instinct when everyone and their mother were making erotic thrillers?  Body of Evidence was pop superstar Madonna’s foray into the genre.  It was a colossal flop when it was released and it still isn’t very good now watching it 15 years later, but it still makes for a decent reminder of the kind of stuff you could watch on Skinamax at 1:00 AM back in the day.

 

The story has Madonna being put on trial for literally fucking an old millionaire to death.  (Did Anna Nicole Smith see this?)  Willem Dafoe is her attorney who tries to get her off in more ways than one.  In between yelling at witnesses in the courtroom, Dafoe spends time in Madonna’s houseboat where they play kinky sex games. 

 

Madonna is pretty terrible in this flick although she does get naked a lot.  Then again, you’ve seen The Material Girl naked a lot before, so I guess that’s nothing new.  The sex scenes are kinda hot though and the scene in which she drenches Dafoe’s genitals with hot candle wax is straight-up hilarious.  Besides Madge getting pummeled a couple times, you can also revel in seeing Dafoe giving a hearty pounding to a before-she-was-famous Julianne Moore too.

 

What really kills the movie is that it plays more like a courtroom drama than an erotic thriller.  The movie is filled with too many long winded scenes of Joe Mantegna and Willem Dafoe arguing in court while a stern-faced female judge shouts out things like “Overruled!”, “Sustained!”, and “You better watch it, counselor!” and not enough of Madonna being a kinky sex freak for it to be totally worthwhile.  The Material Girl gets the best line of the movie when she says:  “I fucked you, I fucked Andrew, I fucked Frank.  That’s what I do, I fuck!”

 

AKA:  Deadly Evidence.

Tags: b, thriller
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