The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum


Bill (The Alpha Incident) Rebane directed this unintentionally hilarious attempt at a gothic horror movie about a haunted piano. You heard me. A haunted PIANO! (Say what you will about those awful Amityville sequels, at least they had enough sense not to bother with a haunted piano.)

During the town of Ludlow’s bicentennial, a mysterious piano is bequeathed to the town. Whenever it gets played people start dying. (Of course the 200 year old piano sounds more like a Casio keyboard from the 80’s but never mind.) One necking couple in a hayloft buy the farm when the guy gets shot with a musket and the girl gets her guts ripped out by a glowing gooey hand. Other townsfolk starting dropping like flies in equally incomprehensible ways. It all turns out to be perpetrated by the restless souls of the colonial founders of Ludlow who are getting revenge on the descendants of the people who wronged them.

That’s right folks; it’s The Fog Meets the Piano.

Rebane’s inept scare tactics include floating fire pokers, laughing toys and a severed head. He also throws in lots of ladies in lingerie and one brief shot of some breasts but never pulls the trigger on the out and out T & A. There’s also a lot of time consuming voice-overs and square dancing too. It starts out decent enough, but any attempt at atmosphere is lost by the time the pirates in the high school drama department costumes show up. And the sight of seeing the piano hopping around to avoid being chopped up with an axe is not easily forgotten.

One character says, “My God! This is 1983; stuff like this just doesn’t happen!”

Co-star Carol Perry was also in Rebane’s next film, The Cold. Cheri (Ginger!) Caffaro was an associate producer.
Tags: d, horror
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