The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum


Cheryl (Ayn Ruymen) is a young runaway who comes to stay with her Aunt Martha (Lucille Benson from Halloween 2) in her rundown hotel.  Although Cheryl makes a date with a cute boy named Jeff (Stanley Livingston, Chip Douglas from My Three Sons), she’d rather kiss up to George (John Ventantonio), a mysterious photographer who also lives in the building.  It’s too bad for Cheryl because George is an out of control psychopath who harbors a very dark secret.   


There is some genuinely creepy stuff going on in Private Parts but not nearly enough to make it totally worthwhile.  In the film’s standout squirmer, George pastes a picture of Cheryl’s face onto his see-thru, water-filled sex doll and makes love to it in a very kinky way:  He injects the doll (in the crotch) with a syringe filled with his blood!  Bizarro to say the least.  We also get a delightful decapitation tossed in there for good measure too.


Director Paul Bartel (who went on to direct the immortal Death Race 2000 next) handles the gruesome scenes really well but never pulls the movie together as a whole.  Ultimately, Private Parts suffers from some highly erratic pacing and a particularly sluggish second act.  (The first and last 15 minutes are the best.)  The assorted oddballs in the supporting cast are fun to watch though.  My favorite had to be the flamboyantly gay Reverend Moon, played by none other than Laurie Main, AKA:  The narrator from Disney’s Welcome to Pooh Corner TV show!  Ruymen is also quite good in the lead and gets to show off her wonderfully perky rack. 


Sure, the flick only works in fits and starts and you’ll see the Homicidal inspired ending coming from a mile away, but you'll enjoy the great hateful dialogue like, “We’re flat busted baby, so you better shove off!”


AKA:  Blood Relations.

Tags: horror, p

  • THE KILLER INSIDE ME (1976) ** ½

    Burt Kennedy directed this workmanlike adaptation of Jim Thompson’s classic novel. It sure does take its sweet time getting going, but it does…

  • GUNSLINGER (1956) ***

    Gunslinger is probably the first feminist western. It features a female lead that is just as tough and quick on the draw as just about anyone in…

  • BLAIR WITCH (2016) ½ *

    You all are complaining you lost an hour because of the time change. Amateurs. I watched Blair Witch and lost ninety minutes. I guess you all…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened