Things I Liked About This Movie:
- Director Dario Argento’s inventive camerawork; namely the shot from inside a guitar.
- The atmospheric chase through a topiary maze.
- A dead cat hanging from a noose.
- The gratuitously gay detective.
- The cool scene where a girl falls down a flight of stairs and her knife lands on top of her.
- The decapitations.
- The bathtub fuck scene.
- The almost poetic slow-motion automobile accident death scene.
Things That Irked the Living Shit Out of Me:
- The stupid faux-acid rock music.
- Just about all the acting.
- The constipated pacing.
- The way that Argento mounted the murder sequences--none of them were very suspenseful and they were all build-up and no payoff.
- The kills were all bloodless.
- The gimmick of photographing the retina of a dead person’s eye to see the last thing they saw before they died. Sounds intriguing, doesn’t it? Too bad nothing was ever really done with it. (Besides explaining the film’s title that is.)
Things I Did While Watching the Movie Because I Started to Get Distracted and Bored:
- Ate breakfast.
- Checked my email.
- Talked to my brother on the phone.
- Started a load of laundry.
- Took a dump.
Things I Still Need to Do Today:
- Fold laundry.
- Take a shower.
- Sweep the kitchen.
- Grab some lunch.
- Walk the dog.
Funny how the “Things I Still Need to Do Today” section seems like it’ll be a lot more fun than the prospect of ever watching Four Flies on Grey Velvet again.
AKA: Four Patches on Grey Velvet. AKA: Four Velvet Flies.