The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum


In the not too distant future, a corporation called GeneCo will offer everybody expensive elective surgeries and organ transplants.  When the idiots can't pay, the company sends out a "Repo Man" (Anthony Head) to cut out the organs and bring them back to headquarters.  Because this is an opera, there is a lot of backstabbing, familial meddling, and unfortunately... singing.


Since Saw 2 and 3 was a hit, director Darren Lynn Bousman begged Lionsgate to finance this turd.  In return, he said he'd make Saw 4.  Both flicks make me want to never see another Darren Lynn Bousman movie for a very, very long time.  Visually the flick looks muddy and muddled and is wildly inconsistent.  At all times the film has the look and feel of an Evanescence video; and it makes about as much sense.


You can't really blame Bousman for screwing the pooch on this one though.  Even though the premise had potential, a musical lives and dies by its songs, and these songs suck balls.  Giant, hairy, smelly, unkempt balls.  Even a bad musical has to have at least one show stopping tune.  Repo doesn't.  Every song sounds exactly the same and is pretty much indistinguishable from the next.  To make matters even worse, just about everyone in the cast couldn't carry a tune if their life depended on it and most of the performers more or less talk really fast instead of actually trying to sing.  You know it's bad when Paris Hilton is the best singer in the bunch.


Folks, it makes Shock Treatment look like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  At one point, I started to yearn for the nuanced vocal stylings of Pierce Brosnan in Mama Mia!  It's that bad, people.  As shitty and mind-numbing as this mess was, any movie in which Paris Hilton's face falls off is worth at least One Star in my book.

Tags: horror, musical, r
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