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An art teacher stands around his class and narrates the movie while his students draw nude figure models.  Finally after about twenty minutes of this, something of a plot appears as the art teacher's buddy from out of town moves in.  The teacher gets him a gig photographing nude models and for another twenty minutes or so, we follow this guy around as he snaps some photos of a couple naked chicks.  One of his models gets a paper cut, and he goes nuts when he sees the blood and strangles her before smashing her face in with a rock.  Then another chick gets a nosebleed and he chokes and stabs her.  After being caught (literally) red handed, the photographer wigs out and repeatedly stabs himself to death.

 

The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare lives up to it's title, but that's about it.  At least ONE of the half dozen or so chicks is a beauty (the redhead... YOWZERS), the killer ends up all bloody in the end, and all the girls in the cast take their clothes off.  So that's the good news.  The bad news is that the movie is boring as Hell because it's more or less 50 minutes of nude modeling (in a chair, on a couch, in a bubble bath, etc.) and 15 minutes of murdering.  Yeah, I know what you're thinking.  Naked chicks and psycho killers; so what's not to like?  Well, if that's the ONLY reason you're picking this up, you might enjoy it.  If non-stop 60's cheesecake pin-up girl modeling gets you hard, then add an extra star.  For everyone else, the Two Star rating is strictly enforced.

 

AKA:  Bloody, Bare, and Beautiful.  AKA:  The Beautiful and the Bloody.

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