The Video Vacuum (thevideovacuum) wrote,
The Video Vacuum
thevideovacuum

WARLOCK: THE ARMAGEDDON (1993) **

Anthony Hickox directed Waxwork 2:  Lost in Time, Hellraiser 3:  Hell on Earth, and this flick right in a row.  Each one is of descending quality.  Luckily, Hickox has been smart enough to not direct any more sequels since.

 

After being defeated in a lame Middle Ages pre-opening credits sequence (complete with costumes that look like they were borrowed from a Medieval Times restaurant), Warlock (Julian Sands) gets reincarnated in the early 90’s where he sets about getting his hands on six Druid stones and killing anyone who has the misfortune of possessing them.  You see, when these six stones are brought together, it will signal the return of the Devil, who is naturally the Warlock’s father.  (Although in the first movie, Warlock was just a male witch, but never mind.)  Meanwhile a modern Druid (Steve Kahan, the captain from the Lethal Weapon movies) trains his teenage son to use his untapped magical powers to defeat the Warlock once and for all.

 

Most of this silly sequel consists of stupid scenes of Warlock killing people when they don’t hand him over the magical stones in a prompt manner.  He throws a fashion designer through the catwalk, locks a carnival worker inside a hall of mirrors, and turns an art collector into a sculpture.  A lot of these scenes are just too dumb for words and would seem more at home in a Leprechaun movie rather than a sequel to the not-bad Warlock 1.  At one point, Warlock looks to the heavens and shouts, “Is that the best you can do?”  He might as well have been talking to the filmmakers.

 

There was some stuff in this movie that made it tolerable though.  First and foremost is Julian Sands, who puts in another sinister turn as Warlock.  Even while covered in chocolate syrup, the guy still looks kinda imposing and menacing.  I also liked the cameo by Zach Galligan too (which makes sense since he starred in Hickox’s Waxwork movies).

 

The best part of the flick comes when Warlock returns to the present day by being birthed (fully grown) out of some trollop.  One minute, the slut is getting all dolled up to go out for a night on the town and the next minute, her stomach is bulging out of her cocktail dress.  Pretty soon, Warlock is slithering out between her legs, strangling her dog, and screaming, “Mother!” a lot.  The rest of Warlock:  The Armageddon is rather shitty, but I got to tell ya folks:  This is one of the best Two-Minute-Pregnancy-Resulting-In-The-Birth-Of-A-Fully-Grown-Man scenes in human history; so the movie’s got that going for it.

Tags: horror, sequel, w
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