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DEATH OF A NINJA (1982) ** ½

Jotaro is a bad ass ninja who is in love with a hot chick.  When an old wizard makes a prophecy that whoever marries her will rule the world, a bunch of bad guys get together and make an aphrodisiac using the tears of her twin sister.  When the twin commits suicide by cutting her own head off, the villains swap out her head with that of a servant girl’s.  The newly put together woman is now known as Lady Hellfire who sends out the evil Five Devil Monks to kidnap the babe.  Jotaro doesn’t want those assholes messing with his woman so he sets out on a quest for vengeance.

 

Just coming up with a plot description for Death of a Ninja was kinda difficult.  This movie is all over the place and makes little sense.  The lack of coherency, erratic pacing and bloated running time took away from what could’ve been an enormously fun flick. 

 

I mean we have a ninja assassin who wears a big black wicker hat that tosses around a bad ass boomerang, a dude who shoots needles out of his eyes, and a monk whose fighting specialty is projectile vomiting.  The flick also has a number of quality decapitations followed by impressive geysers of blood spurting out of the neck hole.  Too bad most of the movie didn’t make a lick of sense.  On top of that, the dubbing is just plain awful.  (The villain’s evil laugh makes him sound like Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.)  Oh and if you sneeze, you’ll miss Sonny Chiba.

 

AKA:  Black Magic Wars.  AKA:  Iga Magic Story.  AKA:  The Ninja Wars.

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