Highway to Hell kinda ties into my month long Horror Movie Franchise marathon because it was written by Brian Helgeland, who penned A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and features C.J. Graham, the guy who played Jason in Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. It’s not very good but it does feature a couple moments of random weirdness to make it at least tolerable. It was directed by Ate De Jong. If you’ve never heard of him; he’s the man who directed Drop Dead Fred. That right there should’ve been a red flag.
Chad Lowe and Kristy Swanson are on their way to elope in Vegas when they take a wrong turn in the desert and end up in Hell. She gets kidnapped by the scar-faced Hellcop (Graham) and the wimpy Lowe sets out to rescue her. Along the way, he gets some help from a friendly tow truck driver named Beezle (Patrick Bergin).
If you didn’t immediately figure out that Beezle is actually Beelzebub, the Devil, then you may enjoy it.
Highway to Hell has some clever moments but the two leads are pretty irritating so it’s hard to care about them (although that has more to do with the writing than the performances). Lowe is kinda like a poor man’s Mark Hamill and Swanson doesn’t get enough screen time for her character to really register. When she is on screen however she fails to make much of an impression.
The supporting cast fares much better. Bergin is great as the Devil and even manages to makes Old Pitch seem a bit sympathetic. Graham does a fine job as Hellcop and makes you wish the movie was more about him than the idiot couple. There’s also a great scene where you see Attila the Hun (Ben Stiller), Cleopatra (Amy Stiller), and Hitler (Gilbert Gottfried!!!) dining together too. Stiller also pulls double duty as a cook in a zombie diner and is pretty funny.
Highway to Hell has some cool stuff in it. There’s a strip club where a dancer’s ta-ta’s catch on fire, a guy who pisses green acid, a three-headed dog, and a horny she-devil with giant tits. And wait until you get a load of Hellcop’s pair of “Hand” Cuffs. Unfortunately, the flick has way too many potholes in the road to make Highway to Hell worth the trip. In addition to the two whiny leads, the pacing is hopelessly erratic and there are too many lulls in between the fun stuff. It also suffers from a pretty shitty ending. If Highway to Hell is in your movie-watching future, I’d highly advise making a detour.